“Oh.” I look down and steel myself before I step out of Micah’s hold. “I’ll miss you guys.”
“Ach, don’t look at me like that. We’ll be here for the holidays, that’s a promise,” Taz says, smiling.
Confused, I look to Harrison who just rolled his eyes at Taz. “For better or worse, Taz has declared you his sister so you’re stuck with us now.” He tries to mask a smile at the craziness. Immediate grumblings are sounding around me from my guys.
“Sweetheart, you can say no,” Liam says, almost begging me to. Now I do laugh, much to Liam’s disappointment.
“What’s this about claiming you as a sister?” Max’s voice booms louder than it needs to. Gods, these men are a handful.
“Max, this is Taz and his pack, Harrison and Ren. Taz, these for all intended purposes are my parents, Max, James, Mateo and Sophie,” I rush out, reaching for Sophie and speed walk my way out of there to the kitchen, Sophie laughing the whole time.There’s way too many men in this house.
Things have calmed down. Everyone is mingling and having a good time. Mateo seems to have gravitated to Taz and his pack; they’ve been talking for a while. I’m soaking up this time with Sophie as much as I can. I’m sure they’ll be leaving soon. It’s been almost a week since they came up here. Mateo, who is a professor, likely can’t miss more work. I sit next to Sophie on the sectional. Then I lean into her, resting my head on her shoulder.
“You’re so loved, Thea,” she says softly so only I’ll hear. “Everyone in this room is here for you. You even got a bonussibling out of this somehow.” She breaks off with a low laugh. “Please don’t forget we’re all here for you.” She rests her head atop mine as we look on at our packs. I’ll try not to forget. I don’t know how I got so lucky to have so many people to love.
Well, I guess that’s not true. I’m sure Connor helped in some way, using whatever ghostly powers he could. He was the one who predicted we’d have a large pack. I turn my hand so my tattooed wrist is facing me—Connor’s mark. I hope he sees us all here right now. “I miss him so much,” I say hoarsely.
Sophie takes a deep breath. “Me too.” She interlocks her hand with mine, gripping it tight. Closing my eyes, I just want to live in this moment, surrounded by my family. Somehow growing up as an only child with my two beta parents, when I found Connor and his parents, my family grew by five. Then losing my parents, it was just Connor and I, and his parents for nearly a decade. Whether I liked it or not at first, it grew again the past nearly four months by seven. Then again with Taz and his pack. I never could have imagined any of this. I’m happy, truly, and finally—free.
I may have had a little bit of a freak-out after everyone left and I retreated to the temporary bedroom the guys set up on the first floor. It didn’t have any of their scents and the bed was only a queen size. I just wanted to cuddle up in my nest or at least the pack bed with everyone there.
I made the argument for Keelan to just carry me up the stairs. I may love my body, but it doesn’t mean I’d assume all my mates could carry me. That doesn’t mean they can’t move me around at all, and they proved that during and after my heat. But to actually carry me any distance, Keelan is the only one who can.Though when I brought up my suggestion, Jake told me Micah can as well. Apparently after Taz carried me out of that house, Micah took me from him and carried me to the car and into the hospital when we got there. That was surprising news to me. Micah actually ducked his head when I looked at him after Jake revealed that. He’s such a weirdo, but he’s my weirdo now.
Luckily, I won out and Keelan carried me upstairs to the third floor. The only concession was Liam wanted me to rest in bed instead of the nest. That’s fine with me because everyone’s scent is strong there too. I would’ve liked the enclosed safe feeling my nest gives me but it’s okay for now.
The party tired me out. The doctor said I may deal with continued dizziness, fatigue, and head pain for days, weeks or even months. Gods, I hope this doesn’t last months. Liam seems determined to make sure it doesn’t.
Sinking into our bed and cuddling under the thick blanket has me near purring in pleasure. Most of the guys went downstairs after I got settled in bed to clean up. Jake and Micah stayed up here with me, but haven’t gotten in bed yet. I’m close to nodding off when I catch Jake’s scent. He must be joining me. I feel my body and mind relax even further, knowing I can sleep with his scent around me.
His arm circles around me as he spoons me from behind. A jolt of fear rings through me. In my half-asleep state, I’m suddenly pushed back into that house with my stalker, feeling him behind me. No, no, no, get away from me.
“Thea?” A voice breaks through the panicked haze. “Thea, can you hear me?” It’s that voice again. Then the scents hit me—peace and freedom. Jake and Micah are here, but that’s not right they weren’t there. I was trapped by myself.
“Please wake up, we’re here. No one is going to hurt you,” Jake pleads, his voice breaking. I look around as the details of that room, of that night, start fading. I blink my eyes as if I’mcoming out of a dream. Jake and Micah’s faces are looking down at me with such fear and concern. Jake has tears in his eyes. I try to reach up my hand to touch his face but my body feels so heavy.
I’m so confused. Micah’s hand reaches for me and I flinch without thinking. The hurt on his face is immediate. No, this isn’t supposed to happen. We’re done, free of him. It’s supposed to be better now. Somehow I’ve made it worse.
“I’m sorry…I-I didn’t mean to,” I stammer out. Gods, I wish we were bonded so he could feel how much I mean it. His eyes soften slightly but there’s still pain there. Suddenly I hear thundering footsteps coming up the stairs and then the rest of my mates are bursting into the room.
They’re so panicked and worried. I look to Jake. He knows. His deep blue eyes are like an ocean that I could sink into right now. He gives a slight nod before straightening and quieting down the guys.
“It was a flashback, right?” Jake asks and I can only nod in return.“I triggered you by holding you from behind?”
“I…I was half asleep and when you laid next to me, spooning me and holding me, it’s like I was there that night with him. I’m sorry. I knew it was you by your scent but I don’t know what happened,” I say quickly, wanting them to believe me. It’s supposed to be over. Looking to Micah, I add, “I didn’t mean to flinch. It happened without thinking. It’s not because of you, I swear.”
They’re all looking at me with varying degrees of sadness mixed with rage. All I wanted when I got home was to curl up in bed with my pack and I can’t even do that. He’s robbing me even from the grave. I wish I killed him myself with that knife. At least he felt some pain before he went. He doesn’t get to win. He doesn’t get to win even now. The despair I felt a moment ago is burnt up by the rage boiling over. I just want to scream. So I do. I let out the deepest scream from my soul, pouring every ounceof hate for him, frustration at myself, and grief for Connor into it. My fingers dig into the blanket, fisting it in my hands. By the time I finish, my head is killing me and I feel lightheaded.
I lie back as Liam approaches my side, concern clear on his face and in the bond. I block off the bonds. I don’t want to know what they’re feeling about me right now. “It’s going to be okay sweetheart.” Liam brushes some of the hair away from my face. He’s so sincere, his soft green eyes radiating it. I close my eyes, letting that be the last thing I see for the night and let sleep and exhaustion pull me under.
46
THEA
My nest is my safe place. It’s where I’ve been holed up since my first night home. One of the guys brings up food for me since I can’t do the stairs. Keelan offered to carry me but I said no. They’ve all been giving me space these few days, probably more than they want since I’m keeping them at arm’s reach. They’ve been sleeping in the nest with me but no one has gotten close to me, too afraid to trigger me again. I didn’t know that would happen. I was fine with Micah holding me in the hospital. Maybe that was because we were front to front. But Ben held me during the interview with Logan from behind and I was okay. There’s no logic to it, and I can’t push it down like I did when I first woke up in the hospital.
This isn’t how I envisioned I’d feel. The nest door opens and the scent of fresh oak washes over me—Keelan. “I’m picking you up, is that okay?” I look over at him curiously. I know I should leave this floor, maybe if I’ll concede to this for today so they won’t ask again for a while.
“Yeah,” I reply, not caring. Keelan gets closer and gently places his hands under me. He’s always so gentle, my teddy bear.I rest my head against his chest and close my eyes until we get to the first floor.
