After drinking some water to help my suddenly dry throat at that information, I say, “I don’t think I’d survive losing so many bonded mates. Can’t we just be together and leave them be?”
A low rumble of a growl comes from him. His hand grabs mine closest to him and squeezes it painfully. I can’t mask theflare of pain on my face. “You are mine. No one but me should be bonded to you. If only I’d gotten to you in Chicago but my ex-pack has kept me busy back home with some unfortunate legal business. Then I would have been there for your heat and that deplorable pack wouldn’t have taken advantage and bonded to you in such a vulnerable state,” he growls out in frustration.
At the mention of his pack, something clicks in my brain and the anger that comes is too much to contain. “Why do you get to have a bonded mate still walking around but you had to kill Connor? And plan to kill my bonded mates?” I bite out, jerking my throbbing hand out of his tight hold.
His eyes widen slightly in surprise. Did he think I wouldn’t know about his beta? I don’t mean to throw his beta under the bus but there is no logic in what he says. Everyone associated with me has to die basically but not the other way around. I don’t know why I’m trying to apply logic to his thinking anyways. I need to figure out how he views “our relationship” so I can play along enough to escape.You can’t do that if your anger is getting the best of you.
He recovers quickly, his expression changing into something resembling a parent scolding a child. “As I wrote to you, I am sorry about Connor. But he and I could not agree on the important things a pack should.” He pauses. Does that mean…? “I went to his office under the guise of becoming a new client. We ended up talking about many things, including our pack and those closest to us. It was clear from that discussion he would not have been a good pack mate with me. Since he wasn’t bonded, I hoped it would not cause you significant pain.”
My mouth hangs open in response to his statement. He thought it wouldn’t cause significant pain? What the actualfuck. A tiny voice in the back of my head is telling me to rein it in, to contain the anger. But it’s drowned out by a primal scream, one I wish I could voice.
In a calmer voice than I thought I could manage, I say, “You were wrong. Connor was the love of my life when you killed him. You would never understand since you so easily left your own bonded mate. No respectable mate could do that.” The look I level him is filled completely with my disgust and hatred of him.
He clenches his jaw countlessly as we stare at each other, neither one of us giving an inch, until I see almost like a switch flipped in his eyes. They went from a cold fury at my words to understanding and sympathetic. “Once you feel better, everything will be alright. Let’s finish eating and then go to bed. Tomorrow we’ll have a nice big breakfast before we bond.” He reaches up and caresses my cheek.
I want to shrink away but I don’t. I know it’s better to take this out he’s giving. Just play along, Thea. The kitchen is easily accessible, if I can get a knife or something to use as a weapon then I’ll have options.
We finish eating in relative silence. He begins clearing the table and I try to help in the hopes I may be able to swipe a knife. He quickly shuts that down, quite literally pushing me back to sit in the chair. All I can do is wait like a good little doll. I keep running different scenarios through my head on possible escape options and the steps needed while he’s cleaning up. That’s when it hits me. It’s like the flood gates opened and I can feel the bonds again. The rush of it has me gripping the table to steady myself.
Their panic and love are filtering in. They’re so scared. It’s all too much to discern who’s feeling what when it’s all just a mass of different emotions. I push down my love for them and my determination. It’s the best I can do to show them I’m not letting him break me. Hopefully that will lessen the worry they’ll have. If it was the other way around, I know nothing would make me feel better until I had them in my arms.
I’m lost in the bonds when Mark approaches me again, this time more gently grabbing my arm and leading me to the bedroom. I need to try to block the bonds at least a little. I didn’t expect it to be so hard to stay as alert as I need to. It’s probably just because they were suppressed and just now became available. Mark moves us back to the spot we were in before when he found me, in front of the large window in the bedroom. It’s now noticeably darker out, the sun probably almost completely set by now. There’s a little light where we can still see some of the trees surrounding us. Yet, with the bedside lamp on and us standing here, our reflections in the glass are clearer than earlier.
Mark’s reflection disappears for a second before he returns. He leans forward, reaching around me. “Here, this is for you to sleep in tonight.” He dangles a long-sleeved maroon shirt in front of me. I take it and turn towards the bathroom but his hands move quickly to my shoulders, keeping me facing the window. “Undress here. Tomorrow, we’ll explore each other properly. Tonight it’s just a tease after so long apart,” he mutters closer to my ear than his previous position allowed. He’s not pressed against me but he’s as close as he can be without touching.
My stomach turns. I can’t. I have to. It’s just boobs, that’s all he’ll see. Half the population have them, no big deal. Yeah right. The guys’ concern is coming through the bonds. Fuck, I can’t let them feel this in the bond. I close it off as best I can before I begin.
I remove the sweater I was wearing quickly, ripping off the band aid as it was. Then my jeans. In one last attempt, I try to put the sleep shirt he gave me on without taking my bra off but he stops me. “Bra comes off next, you can leave the panties on for now,” he says in a huskier voice than before.
Now I really will be sick. It’s clear he’s getting off on this. I haven’t looked at his reflection in the glass. I’m not letting him break me. He did it once with Connor. This isn’t even close to that, I can get through it.
Reaching behind, I unclip my bra and it hovers loosely against my chest, still covering me from his gaze. My reflection in the window will show him exactly what he wants to see once it’s gone. In the quickest motion I can, I shuck the bra off and put the shirt on. It’s a button-down, of course. I get my arms in the long sleeves as fast as I can and pull the center of the shirt close together, hiding my body from his view. I’m able to button the first two, but my fingers are shaking so much. I need to get control of myself. All my mental energy is going to blocking the bond. Unfortunately, that’s made it harder to keep my confidence up. I mistakenly look at his face reflected in the glass and shame runs through me. His gaze is smug and satisfied. I hate that he saw any part of me.Only eight men are allowed to and one was killed by him.
My fingers are still struggling to do the third button. I feel his chest hit my back before anything else and I freeze. His arms come around me and his hands overlap mine, taking the button in hand. I drop my arms to my sides. He begins doing the buttons slowly. Especially the ones going down my chest. He’s purposely pushing his arms into them, getting his feel. His chin is leaning over my shoulder to see better. I can’t look at him doing this. I pick a tree I can still see in the darkening light and stare at it, ignoring the reflection on the glass that shows in the corner of my eye. As much as I try, I can’t fully block out the fact he’s pressed against me. Even when he moves on to the buttons further down past my chest, his forearms are pressed into my soft stomach. I never wished to be thinner so bad to have less of my body he can touch.
No, Thea. He doesn’t take that part of you away too. You love your body. Fuck him for daring to touch it.
When he finishes buttoning the shirt, he turns me around so suddenly I get a little dizzy. His chest is at my eye level and I refuse to look at his face. He doesn’t seem to like that as he tilts my face up with his hand gripping my jaw. It doesn’t hurt much but it’s not soft either. His eyes are darkened and fear zings through me, wondering if he’ll say to hell with tomorrow’s plan and try tonight. I need time to prepare both mentally and getting a solid plan together.
“You are just as beautiful as I imagined all this time. Tomorrow can’t come soon enough,” he says before releasing me and nudging me to the bathroom. Thankfully he let me close the door. It’s really the first chance I’ve had since waking up to be alone. When I see myself in the mirror above the sink, I have the urge to break from what I see. I’m alone. I should take off the block on the bonds so I can deal with that in private before going back out there. I release it and the result is similar to before except a little less chaotic. They’re so worried. I hate that they have to feel anything I’m feeling right now. I try to not let anything too negative filter to them but it’s not a perfect system.
Once the bonds quiet down, I quickly do my business and then check every drawer and cabinet in here for anything useful. Nothing. He had to have prepared the place to limit any options he could. When I return to the bedroom, he’s already lying on the bed, no shirt on.
Please let him have underwear or pants on.
He pats the unoccupied side of the bed, the same one I woke up on. Weirdly, that’s the side closest to the door. When he falls asleep, I can easily sneak out of the room and look for the car keys.
I move quickly, now wanting him to go to sleep so I can try for something. Sliding under the blanket is nice, if only to feellike another layer of armor was placed. As I lay my head down on the pillow, the light from the bedside lamp goes off and I hear him shuffling in. Then I feel it. His arm wraps around my middle, slightly pulling me against him as the rest of his body follows. He spoons me, having our bodies touching nearly everywhere and effectively trapping me here. His face nuzzles into my neck from behind and I feel his hard cock pressing against me through his underwear.
He won’t break me. He won’t win,I repeat this over and over until my anger outweighs my disgust and fear. He doesn’t get to win in any scenario. I’m going to make him pay one way or another. My act tonight will lull him into a false sense of security. I’ll somehow get a weapon and use it tomorrow, no matter what.
35
ELI
Ithought I felt useless before but that’s nothing to how I feel now. I don’t know what to do or how to help find her. The only thing I did was tag along with Ren while he investigated the spot she was taken. Seeing Duke lying motionless in the snow nearly broke any semblance of composure I had. Ren stopped me from running to him before he could document the scene. It didn’t help lessen my frustration that’s for sure. I was relieved to see Duke was still breathing. Then we found the drag marks.
That bastard dragged her away.
