Reaching out his hand, I make my way out of the massive pack bed and take it. Leaning into him feels so natural now, and it only took a couple months. Though living together since I bonded Keelan, then shortly after Parker, probably helped speed up that process.
Ben leads me into the en suite connected to the pack bedroom as well as my nest.
My nest sounds like the perfect spot to escape to right now. But it doesn’t have everyone’s scents like I want it, which immediately sours the idea. Pack bed it is after this.
As my mind wanders, Ben runs the bath and puts something in it. The water is about halfway now so I decide to start getting undressed, quickly taking my sweater and skirt off. Ben turns and sees me as I’m about to pull my tights and underwear down.
“Oh, I can leave and give you some privacy. I just wanted to set the bath up for you,” he rushes out, sounding super flustered and looking everywhere but at me. I can’t help but smile at hisreaction. Well, all the guys saw me naked not long ago during my last mini heat, when I had to be put in an ice bath in this same tub. The next day Keelan profusely apologized that he didn’t put something around me to cover me up. I mean, we were in the middle of sex but I also wasn’t as bothered as maybe I should have been. We’re planning to ride out my heat together, after all. I feel comfortable around nearly all of them at this point.
Before I can second guess myself, I say, “You can join me if you want.”
Even behind his dark-framed glasses, I can see his eyes going comically wide.
“Yes, okay,” he rasps out. He’s so cute. It’s funny how shy he seems when his personality isn’t like that at all, especially with everyone in the pack. He’s always one to say what he thinks and joke around.
I get in first to give him some privacy as he undresses. The heat of the water feels amazing, and a scent I can’t place fills the air. It must be from whatever bath products he added. I hear him enter the tub behind me.It’s so big, they said during the initial tour,at least five of us could fit comfortably in here.
I believe it.
Ben’s hand touches my shoulder and I turn on instinct, my brows lifting slightly. I don’t see him much without his glasses, and his piercing blue eyes seem extra bright right now. It’s probably just my imagination, though.
He clears his throat. “Is it okay if I hold you for a little while?”
I take his hand in mine. “Of course.”
He leads us to one of the corners of the tub that has a seat built in. He sits first and turns me so my back is to his chest, adjusting until I’m basically sitting in his lap. His arm wraps around me, resting on my soft stomach and holding me close to him so we’re touching nearly everywhere. His stiff erection pokes against my back but we both ignore it. He releases ashuddering breath as I relax against him, reminding me of Liam earlier. I scared them, passing out like that. They all need reassurance in their own way.
His bergamot scent wraps around me, overtaking the smell of the bath products, and relaxing me further into his hold. It really is crazy for me to realize how comfortable I am with them all now. The idea of spending my heat with them is no longer something I dread, for many reasons, but something I’m beginning to look forward to with nervous excitement. Even being scent matches, that didn’t override my own need for some kind of connection in order to feel that kind of attraction to them.
Of course before getting to know them, I recognized they are objectively attractive men. But even with Connor, I wasn’t sexually attracted to him until after multiple dates. I always thought that was because Connor was my first everything, first boyfriend, first kiss, first time having sex. However, now with the guys, I’m realizing maybe that’s just how I am. I need that extra bit, a connection of some kind, to cross the line into sexual attraction.
Part of the reason when Liam said I’d be having a heat, before I knew they were my scent matches, I freaked out. The idea of being with virtual strangers was scary and in no way turned me on. I feel good with nearly all of the guys now, and secure to have my heat with them.
“Hey, don’t fall asleep.” Ben jolts me out of my thoughts. “How about a massage?”
I look back at him. His face looks so happy and at peace without even smiling. How do people do that? “Sure,” I respond tentatively.
He releases me from his hold as I sit up a little, his hands now moving to my shoulders. I can’t help the first moan that slips past my lips as he begins. I’m glad he can’t see my now-red face.Now I’m the one being shy.Ugh. Change the subject to anything else.
“My mom would’ve like you a lot,” I blurt out and want to shrink in on myself. Bringing up my parents when I’m naked in the bath with Ben for the first time. Ultimate mood killer.
I feel him sit up straighter behind me. “Really, why’s that?” He sounds surprised, but happy?
“She was a lot like you, spoke her mind no matter what, and family was everything to her,” I say, trying not to dwell on the memories that want to flood my mind right now.
“But I’m not close with my family,” he says dejectedly. He told me that before but that wasn’t the family I meant. I turn around in the water to face him. He looks a little sad now and I just can’t have that.
“Aren’t you? This pack is your family. Everything I’ve seen since meeting you all and heard about before we met is that you put this pack first all the time. Especially with what happened with your ex. You were the catalyst that helped save the pack and come back together. I don’t think many people could have done that,” I murmur, not looking away from his eyes, which are now shining with tears.
Ben doesn’t say anything for a minute. Then he’s there, kissing me so passionately it takes me aback. These men really can say a lot with how they kiss.
My hand comes up to run through his hair, lightly pulling on the short strands, which seems to spur him on more. He’s guiding us around in the tub until I’m resting on the seat he was just on and he’s cornering me in. Coming from him, the move surprises me but in the best way. I want more, more?—
“We should stop before we trigger a mini heat,” Ben says breathlessly as he pulls away from me. My omega brain is not happy with the change.
“Ugh, fuck these mini heats,” I growl out in frustration.
Ben laughs. “That’s exactly what we’re meant to do.”
