Parker and Eli are going to boil me alive. Why are they so hot and all over me? I normally love cuddling in our sleep but I feel like I’m suffocating. Crawling out of our giant pack bed has gotten easier the more we use it. Once I’m out and standing at the foot of the bed, I feel the same suffocating feeling. Oh, maybe it’s me. Fucking heats. I don’t remember learning about how uncomfortable you’ll feel leading up to it.
Despite feeling like I’m in the pit of the sun, I can’t help but smile at sight of my pack sleeping. They’re so cute. Everyone is here with two notable exceptions—Jake who’s still in Florida, and Micah, who never sleeps here. Things are still weird with him. He’s been less of an asshole. He even humored me by lying in the nest two nights in a row. Tonight is the first night in the pack bed since I began nesting. My moment with Keelan earlier when we watched the sunset made me want to be here when it rose. Whoever had the idea to have the pack bedroom face the west and these huge windows so we can see the sunset is a genius.
My skin prickles, reminding me of the heat emanating from my body. I quickly take my temperature with one of the dozenthermometers Liam stocked the house—primarily this floor—with. It’s not too high, 103.5, a couple degrees above normal for an omega. I don’t really want to take a cold shower. Hopefully drinking cold water will help. Bringing the thermometer with me, I head down to the kitchen.
As I approach the kitchen I hear someone moving around in there. My heart starts to race and panic floods me before I can calm myself down. I take a deep breath. It’s probably Taz or one of the others on the night shift. Peeking around the door frame, I only see the back of them, but the red brown hair gives him away—Micah. He’s chopping something on the counter next to the sink, before he suddenly turns and walks over to the stove on the wall closest to the doorway.
I hold my breath like I’m about to be caught. There’s a bowl and an empty plate on the counter next to the stove and he pours something into the pan. I can hear the sizzle from here. What could he be making this late? After a minute I see him flip it. A pancake? No, it looked thinner.
I should feel weird but I don’t, so I continue to watch him cook for ten minutes. The empty plate has accumulated many of whatever he’s been cooking. He turns the stove off and moves the plate to the island where more supplies are laid out. I didn’t even notice them, too focused on him. This is the most relaxed I’ve ever seen him, both in attitude and appearance. He’s wearing black sleep pants and a white t-shirt. Such a contrast to the suits he’s always in. He’s definitely fit, a mix between Liam,who’slean like a runner, and Eli whose muscles are super defined.
I’m still ogling him when he places a plate with whatever he made across from him in front of one of the island stools, then looks directly at me. I let out a squeak of surprise. How long did he know I was here? Oh Gods, just let me melt into a puddleof embarrassment. That has to be better than any conversation we’re about to have.
“Going to join me?” he snaps.
Moving without thinking, I’m entering the kitchen and approaching the island. I pull out the stool next to the one he put the plate in front of, assuming it was for him. He sighs and reaches over, moving the plate in front of me. Okay, duly noted, this is mine. Now that I’m sitting here, I can see the ingredients he was using—bananas, strawberries, and a chocolate hazelnut spread. I look at what’s on my plate, I have no idea why I didn’t realize it before. They’recrepes. Chocolate ones. Holy shit this is probably going to be amazing. A sweet treat sounds so good right now.
“Here,” Micah says, breaking me out of my thoughts, handing me a fork. Then he’s putting one on a plate for himself. He cooked; I feel weird starting before him. As he takes his first bite, I study his reaction. His brows move up, as if surprised, then pinch together in a thoughtful expression.
Not wanting to be caught watching him again, I quickly grab my own bite and it’s as amazing as I thought. A groan of satisfaction escapes. “Thank you, Micah. This is amazing!”
Am I hallucinating or are his cheeks a little pink? No Micah can’t blush. It’s from cooking, I’m sure.
He clears his throat. “It’s just something I’m trying out.” Brushing off compliments. Okay, I can relate to that.
“Why in the middle of the night?” I ask, also glad we have completely ignored the fact I was watching him like a weirdo.
“It’s easier to cook like this when the house is quiet.”
I let out a small laugh, which he grants me a small smile in return. I bet with our pack someone could get a lot done when it’s quiet. My mind immediately goes back to the night of my date with Liam, remembering how rowdy everyone was playing and joking around in the kitchen as Ben cooked.
As my laughter dies down, silence hangs in the air. Why is it so hard to talk to him? We haven’t had any real significant conversations, especially just the two of us. He made it clear he didn’t want anything to do with me. It feels like that’s changed. He did say he never hated me, which makes me feel a little better. But it doesn’t make up for his attitude and what he’s said. I don’t even know what will happen during my heat. If my nesting is anything to go by, I think I’ll need him in the room, at least sometimes, so his scent is still there. I can’t imagine feeling as on edge as I was the other day but even more so during the heat.
“Wil—” he begins before cutting himself off and starting again. “Thea, we should talk.” His face is so solemn, his hands braced on the countertop.
“About the heat, I take it?”
He nods. “I’m going to honest with you and believe me when I say, this is not because of any malice you think I have towards you. I just can’t be involved in it. I understand you may need my scent there, so I’ll be present for that reason. But not involved sexually.” He looks so conflicted with his eyes boring into me like I’ll rage at him at any moment. It’s throwing me off. It’s not how I’m used to him acting. In spite of that, it’s clear how sincere he is.
“I believe you. I’ll respect your boundaries. With this being my first heat, I don’t know how out of it I’ll be, but I promise I’ll respect your wishes. I’ll tell the others just in case I get too lost in the heat.”
I’ve never seen his face look so open, and I’m not talking about how his jaw is slightly dropped in shock. It’s like the layers upon layers of his walls are momentarily down. Did he expect me to demand he participate? He really doesn’t know me at all if that’s what he thought. If I’m honest with myself, I wouldn’t be completely opposed to him participating, if he wanted to. MaybeI should say that, but I don’t want him to think I’m pressuring him. I can’t believe I’m even thinking that about Micah. He’s like the pillar of the pack. I can’t imagine anyone or thing pressuring him into something he doesn’t want.
“I’ll just add that if you change your mind and want to participate, I would be okay with that. Although I think we can both agree we aren’t in a place to bond yet,” I say softly, wondering if we will ever bond. I can’t think too hard on what our relationship will be like. It’s been so rocky and now his actions the last couple weeks have my head spinning.
There’s that conflict in his dark brown eyes. “Thank you for understanding and yes, I agree we aren’t ready for that step,” he says matter of factly, his walls going back up again. If he needs that distance that’s okay. I’m glad we were actually able to talk honestly and openly for once. We both finish our crepes in silence. He begins to put the remainder in the fridge for the guys tomorrow. I’m sure they’ll love that surprise. I watch Micah write a note and place it on top of the wrapped plate—‘one each.’ Smiling at that, I can picture the arguments they must have had in the past of someone taking too much.
He loves his pack. It’s always been clear to me. When he confronted me the night my first mini heat came on, that’s when it hit me how much he’s trying to protect them. Especially knowing what I do now about their ex. Maybe bonding with Keelan and Parker helped alleviate his worry of me running away and breaking their hearts all over again. But it feels like something else is missing. I can’t place when exactly it happened that he started being, well not nicer, but more neutral towards me.
I end up helping him clean the dishes. It’s only fair since he cooked. I feel his eyes on me from time to time but ignore it as we finish up the task. I just realized I don’t feel as hot as whenI came down before. Weird. I wonder why. That’s something to ask Liam about.
As we climb the stairs to the second floor, I glance at him, knowing we’ll go different ways since he doesn’t sleep in the pack bed. It feels weird to just leave without saying anything. Reaching the landing, I tell him again, “Thank you for the food, it was really good. I appreciate being able to try your cooking after everyone said you’re the best cook in the pack.”
I turn to leave, climbing the flight of stairs towards the third floor. I catch a glimpse of Micah as I turn at the top of this flight and climb the last flight. He’s still standing there at the landing on the second floor, watching me. I can’t read too much into it. With Micah, I feel like I could replay our interactions over and over and find new things to overanalyze. If anything, he’s teaching me how to not be so in my head so that’s a plus, I guess.
I climb back into bed and try to put tonight out of my mind so I can sleep. Taking a deep breath of everyone’s scent calms me. I even get a hint of Micah’s, probably from standing side by side doing the dishes. Having his scent seems to be the lullaby I needed to fall back to sleep.
11
