“Yes,” I said flatly.
He let out a long-suffering sigh, but set down his cutlery, and pulled up the hem of his shirt. I sucked in a sharp breath at the ugly purple bruise.
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. I deserved it.” Taylor let the shirt drop and picked up his fork and knife, aggressively cutting through a bacon rasher.
We returned to silence. The food was delicious, but I tried to eat quickly, so I could escape the awkwardness.
“Listen,” Taylor began, and that single word made me tense up. “I didn’t mean what I said about Matty. You’re right, I shouldn’t have ragged on him like that. He’s a nice guy.”
“Unlike you.”
“Unlikeyou,” Taylor snarled, and that was reassuring, the way he was somewhat his normal self. “I just — I was just —”
“What?” I asked, when he wouldn’t continue.
“Jealous,” he snapped. “Obviously.”
“Jealous,” I repeated.
His chest rose and fell with a deep breath, and his fingers were worryingly tight around the knife and fork he held, but when he spoke, his voice was even. “Yes. Jealous.”
Despite my exhaustion, my heart rate started to pick up. “Why?”
“Why? For fuck’s sake, Archie —” he cut himself off, looking physically pained as he suppressed the irritation on his face. He blinked blankly at the coffee table. “Not that it matters. You regret it, anyway.”
“I regretted it the moment you said all that shit to me,” I said to the coffee table. “I know I should be used to it, right? You’ve been a dick for years. But there’s a difference between calling me a dumbass, and being —” the word got stuck in my throat, and I swallowed thickly “— cruel.” I pushed a piece of bacon fat around the plate with my fork. “You humiliated me, and not in the hot way.”
“The hot way?”
“There’s a difference between making me wear a collar as I suck your dick,” I said, “and calling me a stupid, disposable virgin.”
His eyes fluttered shut. “Archie.”
“And you know what?” I continued, ignoring him. “I was still naked. And you were my first. I’d never even shared a bed with someone before and you threw it all in my face and made me feel worthless.”
“I…”
I waited, but he didn’t finish. “What was it, some plan to humble me?” I asked. “I know you don’t like me, but I never thought you’d go so low —”
“No!” He shouted, and we both flinched. He looked like he surprised himself. “No,” he repeated, more softly. He clenched his jaw, then forcibly unclenched it. “I’ve wanted you forever.”
I stared at him.
“I have wanted to have sex with you since forever,” he muttered.
I stared at him some more.
“You really are oblivious, aren’t you?”
“W-what? When?”
“Uh, I don’t know. Maybe think about all the times I stared at you in high school?”
“You— you mean when you were glaring daggers at me?”
“Same thing.”
