He closed the drawer with a click, and squirted some lube onto his fingers. “I’m going to prep you, okay?” he murmured. “Spread your legs for me.”
“Wait,” I said, placing a hand on his chest. “You can’t tell anyone about this, okay? Not a single soul.”
“I won’t tell anyone.”
“Good.” Ignoring the weird mix of fear and excitement in my belly, I parted my legs. His slick fingers explored my ass, then massaged gentle circles around my entrance. It felt a little bit strange, to be honest, but I was easily distracted by Taylor’s face. His brow was slightly furrowed in concentration.
He caught my gaze, and if sensing my unease, he brought his lips down on mine. It took me off guard, but a second later, I realised what was happening.
He was kissing me.
He was kissing me like a lover.
My skin went hot with embarrassment.
It was just a kiss, so why was I blushing like a virgin?
Right. Because I was one.
Wait. Was I?
I mean, we’d had sex. Friday night, getting each other off was definitely sex.
“Oh my god,” I said against his mouth. “I can’t believe I lost my virginity toyou.”
Taylor froze, even his fingers going still. He pulled away so he could look at my face properly. “You’re a virgin?” His voice was rough.
“Er,” I began, my voice disappearing as I felt a flood of nausea.
Shit. Why had I said that?
I waited for Taylor’s shit-eating grin to appear, for him to make fun of me the way I (as much as I hated to admit it) rightfully deserved. It’s not that I thought there was anything wrong with being a virgin, but it was totally lame to pretend to be something I wasn’t. It made me look sad and desperate and fake.
“This is your first time?” he asked.
“All of this was my first time,” I said, fixing my gaze on the ceiling, so I didn’t have to look at him. “The most I’ve done before was make out,” I admitted. “So you were right all along. Bet you want to make fun of me now, don’t you?” I still didn’t look at him.
“You should’ve told me,” he said.
“I’m telling you now,” I said, my tone sharpening. “Besides, I thought you knew. You kept calling me a virgin.”
“I said that to wind you up,” he replied. “I didn’t actually think…” he trailed off. “So I’m the only one to have touched you like this.” As if to illustrate his point, he dragged a fingertip down the length of my cock. It twitched in response.
“Don’t go getting a big head about it,” I said, gritting my teeth, so I didn’t let any embarrassing moans escape.
“Fuck,” he hissed. His gaze raked over me, still hungry, but a touch of something like regret too. “I should’ve been gentler.”
“I’m not fragile,” I said indignantly. “I can take it.”
His eyes met mine, intense and unblinking. “You can tap out, if you want.”
There he was again, babying me. Did he think I was so weak I couldn’t take it?
“Just hurry up and fuck me,” I snapped.
Taylor hesitated, then nodded to himself. A second later, he slid a finger inside of me with ease. Damn, I hadn’t expectedthat. He must’ve lubed me up more than I realised, or maybe I was more relaxed than I thought.
“Uh,” I said, tensing. It wasn’t painful, but it did feel strange, and I had to take a few moments to get used to it.
