How had I spent the majority of my nights last year in clubs and bars? Oh, that’s right — I’d been drunk and dancing and focused on pulling boys. But tonight, I wasn’t in the mood to dance or get drunk, and I didn’t want to pull. I just wanted Leo.
The vaping guy rested his elbow on the back of the couch and propped his head on his hand. “You wanna talk about it?”
“About what?” I asked.
“Whatever’s got you down.”
“It’s nothing,” I snapped, then softened because he was only trying to be nice. “Just…boy problems.”
He widened his eyes dramatically. “Oh, trust me, I know all about boy problems. There are times I think about being straight, but, y’know, I like dick too much.”
That startled a laugh out of me.
“So,” the guy prompted. “Tell me about the boy. What is it? Won’t commit? Internalised homophobia? Sexual incompatibility? He claims that he’s straight?”
“He’s not straight,” I said.
He watched me, waiting.
“I’m the first guy he’s been with, and when we first met, he said he was straight. But he’s not straight, okay?”
“Good, because it’s impossible to date straight guys.”
I frowned. “Are you telling me that no gay guy has ever fucked a straight guy in the history of humanity?”
“There’s a difference between dating and fucking,” he said, and it was a good thing his tone of voice was pleasant because otherwise I would’ve gotten annoyed. “Straight boys will fuckyou. They’ll let you give them head. They might, if they’re generous, even reciprocate.”
I tried very hard not to remember that Leo had never given me head. He’d kissed me and cuddled. That was the important part.
“But they won’tdateyou,” he finished.
“Good thing my guy isn’t straight,” I said.
He shrugged and took another puff of his vape.
“He isn’t,” I continued. “He likes me. He called me cute.”
“Then what’s the issue?”
I deflated. “Nothing. I’m just getting in my head because he called me a friend when I thought we were more than that. But I can’t fault him because we’ve never actually talked about it. Logically, I shouldn’t be so upset, but I keep thinking about how he was earlier tonight, when he was all touchy feeling, and…” I trailed off. “It’s annoying how feelings work, huh?”
“Where’s he now?” the guy asked.
I waved a hand. “Somewhere at this party.”
Vaping guy didn’t reply, but I could tell he was thinking something, and I didn’t want to ask what it was. We settled into silence.
Then, when the silence between us threatened to become awkward, Leo appeared. “Winnie!” he said, not exactly slurring, but close. He flopped onto the couch between me and the vaping guy and leaned his head against my shoulder. “I’ve been looking for you everywhere.”
“I was looking for you,” I told him. I touched his hand, which was ice-cold.
“Mm, you’re warm,” he said, curling his fingers with mine.
“And you’re freezing. Were you outside?”
He nodded. “Are you done? Do you wanna leave?”
To be honest, I’d wanted to leave pretty much since the moment we arrived. I managed a smile. “Sure. But first, you need to drink some water.”
