Edwin: we need to talk.
“I didn’t mean for it to be ominous,” I said.
Atticus looked at me. Each time I met him, he was a stranger for a few minutes until he warmed up. I needed to get him to warm up to me again while telling him I wasn’t interested in him.
“So, what did you want to discuss?” Atticus asked, picking up his cup and taking a sip.
“Okay. So.” I warmed my hands with my matcha latte. “I had a lot of fun on Friday, and it’s been really nice getting to know you,” I began.
His face shuttered. “But you don’t want to take this any further.”
“It’s not because of you!” I clarified.
He nodded once, gazing at me like a maths equation he’d just solved. “I understand.”
“You have to know that you’re extremely good-looking,” I said.
He looked down at his drink. “That’s kind of you to say,” he murmured.
“I’m not being kind. It’s the truth. When I first saw you, I had no idea how you were single. I figured you must’ve been secretly crazy or something. Honestly, you intimidate me, which is why I’m so awkward around you.”
“I don’t think you’re awkward.”
I wasn’t sure how to respond to that. “Listen, Atticus. You could have anyone you wanted.” I widened my eyes. “Anyone.”
His face flickered with something — surprise, perhaps? — before his lips curled into a humourless smile. “So, is it my personality that’s lacking?”
“No, not at all!” I reached for his hand, but he stiffened, so I stopped myself. “I want to be friends with you, and Elena too.”
Atticus eyed me sceptically, but I had a feeling his frown was a shield to hide the rejection he must inevitably be feeling.
“Listen,” I said, shoulders slumping in defeat. “You were right, okay?”
He straightened, reminding me of a dog pricking his ears at the sound of food.
“I like Leo,” I admitted. “I like him more than I thought, and it wouldn’t be fair to date you when he’s the one I want.”
He was quiet for a long time. “I can’t say I’m surprised.”
“I’m sorry,” I said. “And I’m sorry for wasting your time, but I meant what I said. I genuinely did have fun hanging out with you.”
“Thank you,” he said. “I appreciate you telling me all of this in person instead of ghosting me.”
I frowned. “I’d never ghost you.”
Atticus gave me a small, sad smile.
“I am really sorry,” I said.
He shook his head and waved a hand. “Don’t apologise,” he said. “It’s easy to understand why you like Leo. He’s very charming.”
I smiled until I remembered Leo had left without saying goodbye.
“I meant what I said before. I want to stay friends.”
“We don’t have that much in common.”
Ouch. “Well…we’re both gay.”
