He nodded, bewildered. “I don’t think I’ve ever come so hard in my life.” His eyes fell on my lap, and I covered myself with a hand, using the heel of my palm to push my erection down so it wasn’t so desperately obvious.
“Do you want to…” he trailed off, his eyes skittering away.
“Do I want to what?” I asked.
“Put it in me?” he finished.
I stared at him.
“You said you were a top.” He sounded defensive.
“I am,” I said, “and I would love to. But not tonight.”
“Why not?”
“Because you just received your first blowjob, and while your mind was blown, bottoming is a lot less of a walk in the park. It’s not that I don’t want to, because I really do. You’re really hot.”
“Pretty?” he asked.
“Verypretty,” I said.
He smiled.
I was about to say, maybe another time, but stopped myself. There might not be another time. I had to be realistic. Yes, Leo had begged me to touch him, there was still a chance that tomorrow morning, he’d wake up and freak out.
“Okay,” Leo said, “but what about…” his eyes fell on my erection. “Do you want me to…” he made a hand motionthat might’ve represented jerking me or sucking me or some combination of the both.
Of course Leo would offer, because it was the considerate thing to do, but his voice was shaky. Fair enough — I was terrified the first time I touched a dick, and that terror was only overshadowed by desire. Leo had cum, and his dick was softening. There’d be nothing to distract him from the fact he was touching a guy’s penis, and he’d be afraid or freaked out or even disgusted.
“Don’t worry about me,” I told him. “Do you want a shower?”
He nodded. “I’ll jump in super quickly.”
True to his word, Leo was only in the shower for a few minutes. I listened to the fall of water hit the tiles while I sat on the bed. By the time Leo came out, wrapped in a towel, my erection had mostly gone down, though I felt a flicker of interest at the sight of Leo wrapped in a towel — it was the first time I’d seen him without a shirt, and his upper body was mouth-wateringly built — but I distracted myself with providing him with a pair of worn shorts and a loose cotton t-shirt to wear as pyjamas.
When it was my turn to jump into the shower, I let the water run colder than usual. After a quick scrub down, I stepped out of the shower and changed into my pyjamas in the bathroom. I didn’t have a spare toothbrush for Leo, so he washed his mouth out with some toothpaste. I brushed my teeth beside him, and then we went to bed.
I fell asleep quickly. I was exhausted.
11
I was aware of the heavy presence against my back before I was fully conscious. I woke up slowly, taking in glimpses of the ceiling and the cracks of light spilling into my apartment, and then I noticed the arm splayed across my side and the face pressed into my back.
I froze. I could tell from his breathing that Leo was still asleep, and I didn’t want to wake him. If I did, he’d have to reckon with what he’d done last night. I would have to reckon with it.
I’d taken the virginity of a self-proclaimed straight boy, who maybe wasn’t as straight as he said, who likened sexuality to flavours of ice cream in a way that was both completely ridiculous and unbelievably adorable.
Carefully, I began to turn around so my back wasn’t pressed up against him, but he mumbled something and swung a heavy leg over my thigh, trapping me.
I didn’t let that stop me. Slowly, I rolled over until I was facing him. His shower last night must’ve washed away whatever he’d put in his hair to make it wavy because it was back to normal. His legs, the only part of him awake (well, maybe not theonlypart), twisted around me, tugging me closer. I yelped in surprise, causing his lashes to flutter.
“Mornin’ Winnie,” he murmured, and holy shit, his voice was so much deeper in the morning.
“Hi,” I said, pulling the bedding up to my eyes before catching myself. Why was I acting like this was the first time aboy had slept over? I pushed the blanket down to reveal my face. I was totally fine. This was totally fine. I’d done this before, so why did I feel anxious?
Because I was afraid of Leo’s reaction. But he wasn’t reacting at all.
“How did you sleep?” I asked casually.
