I was considering pretending I needed to use the bathroom when Leo reached for my hand. He intertwined his fingers with mine. I tried to contain my surprise, fixing my eyes on his thick fingers, which deftly created a building out of pieces of paper and cardboard.
“It’s kinda like ice cream,” he said.
“Ice cream?” I echoed dumbly.
“Yeah. People are probably born thinking they like vanilla ice cream, but unless they try other flavours, how do they know? Maybe they like chocolate better. Or strawberry. Or pistachio.”
“So you’re saying that people should try flavours to make sure they know what they like?”
He nodded.
“I’ve never had sex with a woman. I don’t have to try to know I won’t like it.”
“Some people have to try,” Leo said. “If they’re unsure. Like, some people go to the ice-cream shop and know exactly what they want to order, and then other people have to sample lots of flavours before they choose one.”
“You’re really sticking with the ice cream analogy, aren’t you?”
He shrugged.
“And you’re likening me to a free sample.”
Leo paled. “I didn’t think about how it sounded. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. I…”
I waited for him to continue.
“I think I like you,” he said quietly. “I feel different around you.”
“Different, how?” I asked calmly.
“Kind of…giddy, I suppose.”
I didn’t say anything for a moment. Was this really happening? The idea that Leo liked me had crossed my mind a few times, but it was just a fantasy myself. It was like when I made eye contact with a stranger on the tram and deluded myself for 5.8 seconds into thinking they were madly in love with me.
Sure, Leo was sweet and earnest and hugged me and touched me and held my hand. He reminded me of a little kid or a puppy dog.
Suddenly, he let go of my hand and stood up. “I’m sorry,” he said again. “I shouldn’t have barged into your place and blurted out all this stuff…I’ll go now —”
I grabbed his arm and yanked him down.
10
Leo landed with a loud thud that, in any other circumstances, would make me feel concerned for the structural integrity of the couch. Right then, though, I didn’t care. I pushed him back so he was leaning against the arm of the couch.
I picked up his hand, massaging the back of it with both of my thumbs. I leaned down and kissed it very lightly. The back of his hand first, then his knuckles, fingers, and palm.
Leo exhaled slowly.
“Would it be okay if I kissed your neck?” I asked, echoing the words I’d said all those nights ago.
He nodded.
I kissed up his neck to the line of his jaw, which was surprisingly smooth. Had he shaved just before the date? I touched the side of his neck with my fingers and felt the rapid thudding of his pulse.
“Winnie?” he murmured.
“Yes?”
“Can you kiss my lips?”
