“Sorry, I’ll turn it off,” I said, pulling away. I didn’t want any more noises to interrupt us, especially after we had removed ourclothes. There was nothing worse than your mum calling you when you were balls deep inside a guy.
I pulled out my phone, intending to turn it off, when I saw the notification was an email from 1137Fine.
Strange. When had Leo had a chance to email me?
“Is everything okay?” Leo asked, sounding slightly out of breath.
“Fine,” I said, tapping on the email. “I’m just going to…”
I trailed off as the full message popped up on my screen.
Edwin,
I expect you won’t respond to this message or even see it because it’s highly likely you have already blocked me, but on the slim chance you haven’t, I’d like to tell you that I don’t appreciate being stood up.
I waited, as we agreed, at the Professors Lane Cafe at 3:30 for twenty-five minutes. Maybe twenty-five minutes isn’t a lot to you, but it is to me. Frankly, twenty-five minutes is a pathetically long amount of time to wait — I should have left earlier — but I kept convincing myself that perhaps you were just late. There was no way someone would ask to meet and not bother to show up.
So thank you for wasting my time. It’s a blessing we didn’t meet if you’re the kind of person who treats others this carelessly.
Regards,
Atticus.
I read the email again. Then, once more. My body felt strange — my fingers were cold, dread surging through my body, but my face felt aflame. Leo was asking me something, but I wasn’t sure what. His voice muffled because all I could hear was the rush in my ears.
“I need to use the bathroom,” I said, pushing myself off the bed. “I won’t be too long, sorry about this.”
Once in the bathroom with the door firmly closed behind me, I clutched onto the sink and stared at myself in the mirror.
Oh god. Oh my god. Oh my fucking god.
I ran through all of the events of the afternoon. Not once had Leo referenced our emails or my LULL post. He’d never explicitly introduced himself as Fine. Instead, he approached me with a compliment, but what he really wanted was to know whether I was in line at the coffee shop.
Then I’d struck up a conversation, ordered with him, and paid for him before asking him to go to a puppy cafe. Then we had dinner and went to his apartment, where I started kissing his neck like an absolute psycho.
I wanted the floor to swallow me up. I wanted to run out of the bathroom and his apartment without looking at his face because this was the most embarrassing moment of my life.
He must’ve thought I was totally insane.
I paused, blinking at my reflection. My actionswereinsane, but he never acted like I was weird. The most he did was look slightly alarmed or surprised before easily returning to a carefree demeanour. Even when I grabbed his hand and started kissing the back of it — the thought made me cringe so hard, I had to shut my eyes — he just took it in stride. Any normal guy would’ve thrown me off.
I pushed the bathroom door open and walked to the bed, where Leo sat, back straight, hands in his lap, forehead creased.
“There’s been a misunderstanding,” I said.
He didn’t reply, so I went on. “Last week, I submitted a post to LULL auctioning myself off to meet a potential boyfriend. A guy responded to the post, and we have been emailing. I didn’t know his name or what he looked like. We planned to meet today, at 3:30, at Professors Lane cafe. When you came up to talk to me, I mistakenly thought you were the guy.”
Leo was silent for a long moment. “That does make a lot of sense,” he said. “I just thought you were super friendly and spontaneous.” He laughed, but it sounded forced.
“Didn’t you think the way I asked you to come to a puppy cafe was strange?” I asked.
He shrugged. “Looking back at it, maybe, but it sounded like a fun idea in the moment.”
“So you often hang out with total strangers?”
“If we seem to get along, why not? I’m always up to make new friends.”
“New friends,” I repeated. “Okay, sure. That’s why we went to the puppy cafe and to the pizza restaurant and here as well. But didn’t you think it was weird when I started kissing your hand?”
