My brows jump up. “No! It was cute, actually.”
He gives me an incredulous look.
“It was! It’s a good idea, anyway.” Even though school isn’t as important to me as it is to Jude, I still need to graduate.
“I never told you this, but for the longest time, I’ve had a plan to win a scholarship. That’s part of the reason I study so hard.”
I nod. Of course someone as smart and studious as Jude would try to win a scholarship.
“I want to win a scholarship so that once I’m in university, I won’t have to rely on my mum. At all. I want to be completely financially independent.”
Oh. That part is more surprising. I haven’t asked my parents to give me money once I move away, but I know they’ll help out with rent and bills until I’ve gotten more settled.
“I know I’m intense about it,” Jude continues. “School and grades, that is. Like the way I study with batteries attached to a pen.”
I crack a smile. Sure, the battery-pen is unconventional, but it’s so Jude that I can’t help but find it endearing.
“I guess I’ve spent so long focused on that goal because I saw university, a scholarship, and everything that comes with that as my escape.”
“I get it,” I say. “You’re determined which is good, so don’t worry about seeming uptight. I don’t want to distract you from your goal. If I felt I was spending too much time with you and not on my art, I’d set ground rules, too.” I touch his arm to emphasise my point. “Seriously. I want to support you.”
He smiles at me. “Thanks, Aaron. I know you will. I suppose I’m just second-guessing my plan. I always thought that once I moved out, I’d never ask mum for anything again. I wouldn’t ask my dad, either. Sometimes, when I was really upset, I told myself I wouldn’t even talk to them. But lately, with everything that’s happened with Mum and Winona…maybe I don’t have to be angry with Mum for the rest of my life. I’m still going to try my best to win a scholarship, but maybe I can allow myself to entertain the idea that someday, things will be better with myfamily. I don’t think we’ll be perfectly happy or anything. Just…more functional.”
“I hope so. You never know, people can change. Even parents. You said yourself that your mum’s already surprised you.”
“Yeah.” Jude takes a deep breath and checks the time on his phone again. “Right, I should go meet my Mum now.”
We get out of the car, and I open the back so he can grab his gym bag along with his schoolbag, which we dumped after school finished. I give him a quick kiss and say goodbye, and then he leaves.
24
Jude: Reginald
MY PARENTS KNOW WE SLEPT IN THE SAME BED. I FORGOT TO PACK UP THE AIR MATTRESS, WHICH LOOKED TOTALLY UNTOUCHED, AND THAT’S HOW THEY FOUND OUT. THEN THEY HAD THIS WHOLE TALK WITH ME ABOUT BEING SAFE AND STDS AND CONDOMS. THEY SAID THAT IF YOU EVER SLEEP OVER AGAIN, THEY ARE GOING TO PUT YOU IN A DIFFERENT ROOM. I WANT TO DIE.
So, my place is basically out of the question.
Also, do you want to exchange numbers? It’ll be easier to communicate that way.
Love,
Aaron.
The email comes Monday evening. Despite a somewhat awkward drive back home and dinner with Mum, I'm still on cloud nine. She didn’t ask me about Aaron, but she didn’t ask me about anything else either — not how my day was, whether I learned anything, or if I studied hard. The silence was disconcerting, but I prefer that to being interrogated about my new boyfriend. Maybe she took my comments about her treating me like a criminal to heart.
After dinner, I called Winona and told her I had a boyfriend. She was really happy for me and asked me a lot of questions about Aaron. She also wanted me to send through a photo, but I realised I didn’t have any. I could’ve found a photo of himon social media or the Easton Grammar website, but I decided against it and sent her a photo of the artwork he made me. She oohed and ahhed, and I felt giddy, like I was the one being praised.
She told me about her own love life. She broke up with her boyfriend months ago because she deserved better, and he wasn’t interested in anything except having fun and wasting time. “I think I stayed with him as long as I did to spite Mum,” she said. “I mean, yeah, I thought he was cool in high school, but I expected him to grow up afterwards, and he just didn’t.”
I told her that it sounded like she made a good decision, and I was glad she’s doing better, and before we ended the call, we made a promise to call tomorrow night.
Now, I reply to Aaron’s email with my phone number, and a minute later, he calls.
“So basically, they started giving me this whole spiel about not wanting to create any shame around sex, that it’s a natural thing at my age, blah blah blah, and I seriously thought about running out of the room,” Aaron says without preamble. “This happened at dinner. I was in the middle of eating my lamb chops, feeling completely normal, and then they gave me this lecture. So they were like, don’t feel ashamed about having sex, but also, they said they can’t explicitly encourage it either, especially because of your mum. Like, they don’t want to deceive her or undermine her parenting or something like that. I was thinking, what if they got your mum’s permission, they’d let us share a room? Not like that’d ever happen, and I’m way too embarrassed for you to sleep in my bed again because my parents would justknow.”
He pauses to catch his breath. "Jude? What do you think?”
“I’m going to feel so awkward the next time I see your parents.”
