“Jude,” Mimi says, catching sight of me. “I wasn’t expecting you to come.”
“I was surprised you invited me,” I continue. “But thank you.” I nod hello at Lily, who smiles at me.
“Whatever.” Mimi rolls her eyes. “Aaron made me.”
“Aaron?” I echo. That’s impossible, especially since he doesn’t talk to me in class anymore.
“Well,” I say. “Thank you, anyway. And I bought you a present.”
Mimi perks up. “Ooh,” she says, hands outstretched. “Gimme.”
I pass her the envelope. She tears it open and barely glances at the card — which, honestly, fair enough, because all I’d written wasTo Mimi, Happy 18th, From Jude— and picks up the Sephora gift card.
“This is actually a good present,” Mimi says. “Sometimes guys get me something stupid, but I can use this. You have an older sister or something?”
I stiffen but cover it with a smile. “Most girls like makeup,” I say.
A crowd of girls arrives behind me, so I take my cue to leave, wandering further into the house, with its high ceilings and gleaming tiled floor. Even though this place is way more expensive, it reminds me of my own house — clean but not homely. So pristine, it feels fake. Like a set home in a catalogue.
Most people are crowded in the open-plan living space. The kitchen island is covered with bottles and cans, and there’s a huge bowl of fruit punch. The cloud-white couches are packed with people, some couples sitting on each other’s laps. Gathered on the carpet, a group plays a drinking game around the glass coffee table with cards.
French doors open up to the backyard, which is lit up with fairy lights, with a few dark corners for couples to hide away. A few people play tennis on the tennis court.
There are so many people here, way more than there was at Ethan's party all those months back. I recognise faces from Easton Grammar, and there are other people my own age who must go to Easton’s other schools, but I see a lot of older-looking people too.
Even though there are more people than Ethan's party, I feel more comfortable here. Maybe it’s because I feel more anonymous and don’t worry that people are looking at me, or maybe I’m happier here because I know who’s waiting for me later tonight.
I spot a couple of guys from school that I sometimes talk to in class. They’re more Tim’s friends than mine, so our conversation is stilted because Tim isn’t here to bridge the gap. I asked him if he was coming, but he said he would be too busy studying, which sounds sad, but if I weren’t going to this party, I’d be doing the same.
Afterwards, I pick at the food spread out on the wooden tables outside. At Ethan's party, there were chips, chocolate, and pizza, but Mimi’s gone all out with cheese boards, platters of fruit, and even a chocolate fountain. I spend some time poking strawberries onto a skewer and drizzling them in milk chocolate, but soon the whole process gets a bit sticky. I wipe my hands with a napkin, then set out to find a bathroom to wash them properly. Mimi’s house is a maze, but eventually, I find one, and I spend too long looking at myself in the mirror. My appearance doesn’t matter because R won’t see me, but before coming, I shaved my face, showered, and washed myself thoroughly. I wore a long-sleeve shirt specifically because it’s easy to take off, as well as jeans that make my butt look good.
I return to the kitchen and look at the drinks. On the other side of the island is Lily, who now has two pink spots on her cheeks. I have a feeling she’s drunk quite a bit since I saw her last. She’s talking to Aaron, who says something that makes her laugh and touch his arm.
They look good together. Lily looks like a fairy princess, with her pink floral dress and glittery butterfly pins decorating her long hair, and Aaron looks like the epitome of masculinity: blue shirt hugging his upper body, dark wash jeans, thick hair that looks more combed than usual like he’s styled it.
Aaron glances my way, and I avert my gaze, focusing on the punch bowl before me, slices of lemon and raspberries floating in the milky pink liquid.
The sight of him and Lily gave me an achy feeling. Not because I’m jealous or anything. Yes, Aaron is physically attractive, and yes, I feel gratitude towards him for getting me a job at his family’s shop, but I’m not jealous of Lily because she has Aaron. It’s more that I wish I could stand with my own boyfriend at a party in front of everyone else. I wish I could see him in the light, talk to him, and hold his hand whenever I want, not only in snatches of time in a dark closet.
But R’s not interested. At least not yet, and I have to respect that.
After completely topping up my glass with punch, I raise it to my lips.
“That’s alcoholic.”
Aaron stands behind me, hands tucked into the pockets of his jeans. He looks confident and cool, but after meeting my eyes, he ducks his head. “Just in case you don’t drink.”
I lower my glass, which doesn’t smell alcoholic at all, only of sweet fruit. “I don’t. How did you know?”
“You didn’t drink at Ethan's party,” he says.
He remembers that?
“I’m not drinking tonight either,” he continues. “I almost had a sip, so I thought I’d let you know.”
“Thanks,” I say. “Mimi ought to put up a sign.”
“Yeah.”
