On the phone, I asked Zaina without preamble if Fin was paying her to cheat. She didn’t answer at first, until I told her how I figured it out, and asked whether she knew how much trouble she could get into if the school found out. The school wouldn’t only punish Fin — they’d wipe out all of Zaina’s grades too. Forget getting into university. Did she know that?
Of course I know that, she’d said.
Then why would you do it? I asked.
She’d gone quiet for a moment. The money, she’d answered. It was too good to refuse.
Now, a muscle ticks in Fin’s jaw. “You can’t snitch on me without snitching on Zaina, too. You want that?”
“I don’t owe her anything. It was her decision to break the rules.” To my relief, my voice comes out ice-cold. Truthfully, if I came down to it, I don’t know if I’d be able to tell on Zaina. The old me would have agreed with what I said: if she made the decision, she should suffer the consequences. But I know the most important thing in her life right now is getting into university, and I know she wouldn’t have taken the money unless she truly needed it. Besides, she’s Kieran’s friend.
I can’t let Fin know I’m not dead serious, though, because otherwise my threat won’t work.
He puts his can down. “I had to do it,” he says after a minute. “You know what our parents are like. And unlike you, I’m not smart. Everyone knows it. I’m dumb as fuck.”
“Your parents wouldn’t have wanted you to cheat.”
“They wouldn’t care. The only thing that matters is the result. The only way they would care is if someone found out, if I embarrassed them.”
“The cheating would have had to end, eventually. You can’t get Zaina to sit your end-of-year exams.”
“So I flunk the exams. I’ll still get a score that’s good enough.” He exhales. “Well, congratulations for figuring it out, Jasper.”
“Do we have a deal?” I ask.
He gives me a long look. “You two are fucking, aren’t you?”
I stare at him. My mouth suddenly feels rough, like sandpaper.
“Who?” I manage.
He laughs nastily. “Don’t play dumb. You know who I’m talking about. You and Kieran. Don’t bother denying it, it’s written all over your face,” he says. “So it wasn’t a chick you were banging after all.”
“How?” I eventually say.
“Everyone saw you defend him at the party. Everyone saw you take him home. And now you’re here, standing up for him like a knight in shining armour.” He leans against the fridge. “He was at your house that day I came over, right?”
My heart pounds. Someone knows that I’m sleeping with Kieran. Fin knows. I don’t know what to think.
“So, were you secretly gay this entire time?”
“No,” I say. I know I’m not gay — I like girls, I’ve liked girls since forever. But I also like boys. I guess I’m bi, like Kieran. I haven’t thought about it too hard — I didn’t need to.
“Right,” Fin drawls.
I grit my teeth. “Do we have a deal?” I ask, as calmly as I can.
For a moment, I think he’ll refuse. “Fine. I’ll leave your boyfriend alone.”
“He’s not my boyfriend,” I reply automatically, and regret it.
He rolls his eyes.
“Don’t try anything with Kieran. I’m serious,” I say.
“Fine,” Fin grits out.
I watch him for a minute until I’m certain he’ll keep up his end of the deal. Then I nod and turn to leave.
