I open my locker and put my books away. Recess has just started, and I need to get to the canteen for canteen duty. I’m rostered with Fin today, but I doubt he’ll show up…
A loud sigh interrupts my thoughts. It’s Zaina, the bags under her eyes a greyish-brown. She struggles to push her mountain of textbooks and folders into her locker, which is a few ones away from mine.
After she’s done, she walks away and I busy myself with getting an apple and muesli bar out of my bag, then close my locker.
There’s a white envelope on the floor in front of my locker. I pick it up, but there’s nothing written on the front. I open it. A crisp 100 dollar bill.
The envelope wasn’t here when I arrived.
“Zaina!” I turn around and call. She’s halfway to the bathrooms.
She looks at me, brows raised. I wave the envelope and she quickly comes over.
“This yours?” I ask when she’s closer.
“Yes.” She reaches for it.
“How much is inside?” I ask. I want to make sure it’s hers, otherwise I’ll take it to lost and found.
“It’s mine, Jasper,” she says. “A hundred,” she answers after a second.
I hand it to her. She tucks it into her inside blazer pocket, then marches off. I watch her go. That’s weird. Zaina’s the last person I’d expect to carry hundred-dollar bills around.
I’m still thinking about it when I arrive at the canteen. To my surprise, Fin’s already waiting outside, waving kids in and telling mouthy Year 7s to shut their trap.
“Hey,” I say.
“Jasper!” He slings an arm over my shoulders. “You’ve been looking so stressed recently, man.”
“Well. It’s the end of term.”
“I feel like you’re not there when I talk to you,” he continues. “We should hang out sometime. We haven’t done that in a while, have we?”
“No,” I admit. “I guess we’ve both been pretty busy.”
“How about I swing by your house sometime? We can play video games like we used to. Taking breaks is important,” he lectures.
“I know,” I say. I don’t say that I have been taking breaks all term, and they’ve all been with Kieran.
*
“Have you ever done…butt stuff?”
My face goes hot as soon as I ask it, but Kieran doesn’t look weirded out. Of course he doesn’t. I can say anything to him.
It’s another afternoon after school, and we’re lying in my bed, clothed, making out lazily.
“Mm-hmm,” Kieran says, pulling his lips away from where they were pressed against my neck. “Both fingering and anal sex. Both giving and receiving.” He reaches out and brushes the hair out of my eyes.
“Did you like it?” I ask.
He looks at the ceiling. “Being penetrated was…okay. Nothing amazing for me, so I preferred topping for anal sex. But a lot of guys like it. Have you tried it?”
“Touching myself there?” I shake my head. “I’m scared to do it by myself. But, uh…I’d like to.” I’d heard about the prostate ages ago, before I met Kieran. I did even more research after Kieran and I started hooking up. I didn’t know if we’d ever get to this stage, but recently I’ve been wanting to.
“Do you want me to help you?” he asks in a gentle voice.
“Now?”
