Kieran steps into the dining room and it’s a wonder I don’t choke on my food. Senior notices him and they exchange a quick wave before Kieran fills his plate with food.
“Good morning,” Kieran says to Senior when he takes a seat at our table. He gives me a cursory look before digging into his food.
I swallow and busy myself with finishing my coffee. Somehow, neither of us exchange a single word that whole breakfast, Senior filling in the silence with his chatter. He tells Kieran that he’s going to be skiing with me again. I watch Kieran’s face for a reaction, but if he has one, he doesn’t reveal it.
*
The day goes by quickly. When Kieran and I have to speak to each other, we’re blunt and concise. It’s like last night didn’t happen.
We have dinner with Senior and Senior’s friend Richard. They dominate the conversation while Kieran and I nod and push food around on our plate. They suggest playing some board games together after dinner, but Kieran says he’s tired and politely excuses himself. As he leaves the table, his eyes flit to me, and my heart rate picks up. Then he’s gone, disappearing through the doorway.
I stay seated at the table for thirty seconds after that, my foot tapping against the floor, before I yawn and say I’m pretty tired too.
I’m unlocking the bedroom door two minutes after.
Water runs in the bathroom, and when I step in, Kieran’s washing his toothbrush. I ignore him and start brushing my teeth.
He leaves the room, and I stare at myself in the mirror. My hand — the one holding my toothbrush — shakes.
I leave the bathroom.
Kieran’s sitting on the couch, resting his back against the back of the couch, legs spread out wide. He runs a hand through his hair.
I walk over to him but keep the coffee table between us.
“I thought you were tired,” I say.
He drops his hand. “I am.”
“So then, why aren’t you in bed?” I regret the words as soon as I say them. They’re too suggestive.
“I’m deciding which one I want,” Kieran says, breaking eye contact to look at the beds behind us. His eyes meet mine again.
“You can have the queen tonight,” I say nonchalantly.
“How generous of you.”
“Well, Senior said it’d be fairer if we rotated.”
I don’t mention this whole who’s-going-to-have-which-bed debate is dumb and void because we shared last night. We both already know that.
Kieran looks over me once.
“What?” I snap. I’m glad I sound mad; it disguises how excited I am.
“If you want to do it, you have to start it this time.”
“What?”
“I started it last night. So if you want it, you have to initiate it.” If it wasn’t for the heat in his eyes, he’d almost look uninterested.
“You didn’t start anything last night,” I argue. “I started it.” I was the one who saidplease.
“I still want you to start it, if we are going to do this,” Kieran says.
“Why?”
“Because it’ll reassure me that you want it.”
