“Fuck, Jasper,” I say, burrowing my head into the space where his shoulder meets his neck. He smells delicious, like soap and sweat and the masculine scent that’s just him.
I pump my fist harder.
“Kieran,” he gasps into my ear. “Kieran, I’m… I’m going to —”
And then he’s bucking wildly and a moment later, he shoots onto his stomach. I look at him, writhing there in the aftermath of pleasure, and the sight is too much for me, and then I’m coming too, painting his stomach, and collapsing on top of him.
We lay there, breathing heavily. After a minute, Jasper shifts underneath me. I get off him, landing beside him. “Sorry. Was I crushing you?” I murmur, eyes closed. My heart rate slows down.
He pulls something warm is over us. Blankets. “’S fine,” he replies sleepily.
12
Jasper: The Morning After
My eyes snap open. Grey light fills the room, the wind whistles outside, and Kieran’s arm is lying across my chest.
Kieran’s arm is lying across my chest.
I jerk out of his reach and off the bed, fast enough to feel vertigo. I clutch the bedside table for stability until my dizziness stops. Kieran doesn’t wake up. He’s sleeping on his stomach, his cheek squashed against the pillow, and the arm that was lying on me has flopped onto the mattress.
I shiver before realising I’m not wearing any clothes.I’m not wearing any clothes.Then, I look at my stomach…
Shower. Now. I don’t let myself think as I grab a clean change of clothes, march to the bathroom, and turn the shower hot enough to fill the room with steam.
Don’t think about it, I command myself as I scrub my body. Then: Oh, holy fucking shit, I had sex. With Kieran Phillips.Kieran Fucking Phillips.
It was hotter than I ever could have imagined. I don’t know how I’m going to return to using my right hand to get off when I’ve experienced someone else touching me. And not just anyone. Kieran’s touch, his huge hands, his body against mine, our dicks touching…
Holy fucking shit. I had sex with a guy. Sometimes I’d wonder what it’d be like to sleep with a guy and now I have an answer.
I liked it. And, oh, god, it was Kieran.
Any joy about the fact I’ve had sex saps away when I remember what happened. He was on top of me, and I was getting hard, and then he was going to leave, and I said “please.” I begged him. I whimpered and moaned, and said his name, not once, but over and over…
How will I ever be able to look him in the eye again?
I finish showering and get changed. When I leave the bathroom, Kieran’s still asleep, though now he’s rolled onto his back. The pillow has left wrinkles on his cheeks.
He looks gorgeous. Of course, he’s always been gorgeous. I just had to convince myself otherwise.
I can’t risk being in the room when he wakes up, so I grab my phone and room key, and leave for the dining room. On the way, I message Senior that I’m getting breakfast. He responds, letting me know that he’ll join in fifteen minutes.
In the dining room, I help myself to a slice of toast, some fruit, and a coffee. I find a spare table by a window, soak in the winter sun, and definitely don’t think about Kieran.
Senior arrives in exactly fifteen minutes. After ordering a bacon and eggs, he takes the seat opposite me and we exchange good mornings.
“How was your night with Kieran?” Senior asks.
I almost drop my piece of toast. “Huh?”
“How was your night with Kieran? You and Kieran seemed to get along quite well at dinner last night.”
“Oh. Yeah, we didn’t fight.”
“That’s progress, isn’t it?”
I nod, not trusting myself to sound normal. Senior talks about his plans for the day, which involves leaving me to show Kieran around again. Great.
