I scratch my pen into a page of my textbook, creating an inky black circle. “Ask him.”
“Oh, we did,” Kaito says. “I saw him at on the weekend.”
“What did he say?”
“Same as you. Absolutely nothing.”
I press my pen harder. “It’s nothing.”
“And what’s with you and Eve?” Declan asks. “She won’t look at us.”
“Nothing.”
“You can’t answer nothing for every question,” Kaito says.
“I’m just tired,” I say because they won’t leave me alone until I give them an answer. “Nothing’s wrong.”
When I look up, neither looks convinced.
“And,” I add, “my parents have been super mad at me about my grades. So I guess that’s been weighing on my mind too.”
In actuality, I don’t think I’ve been better at school. Ever since I got that B in English, I’ve been more motivated than usual, thinking that perhaps I can do well at schoolifI try. I pay attention in class and study at home because it distracts me from the rest of my life. These days, I need all the distraction I can get.
If Eve saw me now, she’d be so proud.
I think about that. No, if she saw me now, she’d be pissed as hell.
When we pass each other, we avoid eye contact. In my periphery, I see her clutch her books tighter, her face shutter. She despises me.
After school that Monday, I’d cooled off enough to regret my words. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still furious that she said what she said to Henry. Even if it was the truth, it’s shameful, one I wanted to keep hidden. I know Eve didn’t mean to say those words, that she momentarily lost control, that Henry upset her. But she shouldn’t have said them.
My pen tears a hole in the page, and I stare at the rip. I set the pen down, and look at Kaito and Declan, who’ve moved on to discuss the summer social. A few days ago, they went to buy tickets, and I told them I wasn’t going. Henry will go if he knows I’m not. That’s good. I don’t want him to miss out in order to avoid me.
Now he returns from the bathroom and takes his seat on the other side of Declan. I hear him laugh, and my heart clenches.
“Look what I got you,” Ben says from the dining room after school one day. He sits in his usual seat, holding a grocery bag.
I haven’t seen him in a while, since he’s been working later shifts and hitting the bar with his friends. I haven’t seen much of my parents either. I’m glad. If I did, they’d see the wreck I am and ask unwelcome questions.
I sit beside Ben and take the bag. Inside is a box of Favourites chocolates. “If Mum saw this in the house, she’d lecture us on sugar addiction.”
Ben rolls his eyes as he smiles. “You can have a treat, Noah. You won’t die. Come on, open it.”
I peel back the top of the box. “Thanks, Ben. Is it my birthday?”
“I thought you needed a pick-me-up.”
I keep my face blank as I unwrap a chocolate. “Why?”
“Brotherly intuition.” Ben takes a chocolate. “I forgot to mention that Eve came over the other day.”
“What? When? Why?” I’m mid-chew.
“Who? How?” Ben finishes, teasing me for sounding like a primary school teacher teaching kids question words. “Monday arvo. She came to drop off some clothes you lent her.”
“Oh.”
Ben chews his chocolate and watches me.
