“But it’s still different,” he finishes. “Yeah.”
I jot the note down as a con.
“What do you think?” he asks. “I know you hate the idea …”
“I’d probably benefit more than you. The status boost. We’d be making Oliver and Henry jealous. It wouldn’t take long for the plan to be effective.”
“But?”
“But,” I sigh, “there are so many buts. I’ve never dated anyone before, Noah. I don’t know how to act like a girlfriend. What if we have to … touch … intimately?”
Noah scratches the back of his head. “Oh. Yeah.”
“What if people see through us?” I continue. “We’ll have to keep it a secret from everyone because we can’t let the plan get out. We’d be lying to our friends. And what if people find out, anyway? This could end in a complete disaster.”
He shrugs.
“Do you not care?” How can he be so nonchalant about the potential disaster ending of this idea?
“What’s the worst thing that could happen?” he says. Those are the words of someone who’s never had to consider consequences.
“Did you not hear everything I said?” I explode.
“Okay, okay, I get you. But it’s not that deep. What about this: we don’t pretend to date, but we’ll hang out a lot at school and in public? We’d be friends. It’s not lying. And if people draw conclusions about us, that’s on them for assuming people’s sexualities and believing boys and girls can’t be friends.”
I force myself to consider it, despite wanting to argue. “What if people ask us outright? What do we say?”
“Nothing. Avoid the question. Or deny it, which is the truth. People will believe what they want to believe, anyway.” He crosses his arms, a victorious smile playing on his lips. “Now, what’s the worst that you think could come from that?”
I set my pen down and lean back to reevaluate him.
A scenario plays in my head. Noah and I eating lunch together, at a table nearby the oval. Classmates pass with raised eyebrows. Ruby and Oliver walk by, and I wave them over.
Ruby grins. “I didn’t realise you were …” she says, pointing a finger between Noah and me.
“Oh, no,” we laugh as if the idea is ridiculous.
Ruby smiles, unsure. Oliver wears the same expression he wore Thursday lunchtime when Ruby teased me about meeting my lover.
I frown. “This seems like a lot of effort for … for just boyfriends.”
“Just boyfriends?” Noah echoes.
“I don’t know whether I should bother,” I explain. “It sounds weird, but pursuing … a crush … embarrasses me.”
“It’s not embarrassing. Love is a noble cause.” His lips quirk, partly joking. “And when have you not bothered with something, Eve?”
I pick up the pen and flick it around with my fingers. Never. But schoolwork and something like this are two different things.
“The least you can do is try,” Noah continues.
I sigh. “I know.”
“It’s your choice. But I want to. And we can stop at any time.”
If Noah and I deny we’re dating, it’s not lying. We’ll just pretend to be friends in public. “It’s a good idea,” I admit.
“Right?”
