"Um." I take a breath. "Did you want to go on a walk, together, later? Once you've finished this. I… I want to talk."
A cloud passes over her face, but then she nods. "Alright. I should be ready in half an hour."
"Okay. Perfect." I turn away and leave the room, feeling Kennedy's eyes on me.
*
While I wait, I go to the attic bedroom and tidy my things. While I was cleaning, I already did a preliminary clean through of my stuff but this time I grab everything, including my toiletries from the ensuite bathroom and my books and lozenges from the bedside table, and put it all into my duffle bag.
Liam appears in the doorway. "The cousins and I are going to the supermarket. Want to come?" His voice is hesitant, quiet.
"I'm okay," I say, trying to stuff my textbooks into the bag.
"Okay. You won't be alone in the house, Kennedy's staying back too." He enters the room and picks up his black jacket from his trunk.
"I know," I say. "We're going to go on a walk."
Liam stiffens and turns to me. "Are you going to tell her?"
"I have to. I can't stay in her family's home and keep something like this from her."
Liam nods. I think of this morning. Maybe Liam never wants to say anything. Maybe he thinks our kiss was a one-off thing, and it isn't worth causing all this trouble over. Maybe he plans to return to Easton and never speak to me again. Maybe he's attracted to me, sure, but maybe he doesn't feel the way I feel. Maybe he doesn't like me the way I like him.
I take a deep breath and look down so he can't read the hurt on my face. I feel stupid for feeling like this. It's not as if Liam and I could ever be together, anyway. There are rules of friendship, and one of them is that you can't date your best friend's ex.
"I won't say anything about you," I say. "You should tell Kennedy that yourself — if you are going to tell Kennedy. It's your choice. I won't force you into anything."
"Curtis," Liam says, his voice fragile.
I don't meet his eyes.
After a moment, Liam leaves, and all I see are his weary footsteps in my periphery. Once the door closes, I squeeze my eyes close.
*
"Ready?" Kennedy asks when she runs into me in the hallway.
"Yeah," I say. "Want to go on the back porch?"
I thought about going on a walk around town, but I don't want to go to the beach again. It'll just remind me of when we first broke up. We could walk around the neighbourhood, but I don't want to risk either of us getting emotional in front of other people, which is a strong likelihood.
"Sure," she says, her voice indifferent.
We leave through the backdoor. I haven't been in the backyard for a while, and it looks just as I remember it. A big lawn and the porch full of chairs and tables and the hammock.
Kennedy takes the hammock, sitting in the centre with her back up, rather than climbing into it. Makes sense. She knows this won't be a laid-back conversation.
I drag a chair close to the hammock, though not close enough for Kennedy to reach out and slap me. It'd be understandable if she did, though.
"So, what is it?" Kennedy asks after we've been sitting for a minute and I haven't said anything.
I look up from where I've been staring at my fingers.
As soon as she sees my expression, her face pales. "It's bad news, isn't it?"
"It's another reason for you to hate me," I say, trying to turn it into a joke. It's not funny.
"What," Kennedy demands.
