He'll know and he'll tell Kennedy and she will hate me.
Even though I hate the claustrophobia of facing the wall, I do it anyway, and will myself to fall asleep.
17
Curtis: Master Bedroom
Liam's bed is empty when I wake up. There's no one in the kitchen except for Kennedy, who types notes for her Australian and Global Politics class.
"Morning," she says, before checking the time on her phone. "Afternoon, actually."
"Where's everyone?" Instead of my usual green tea, I make a coffee to wake myself up.
"The rest went grocery shopping, only a few minutes ago. Bonnie and Liam did a good job of not looking wrecked, so I don't think Erin suspects anything. How are you feeling?"
"Not as bad as I thought I would," I say. Granted, I slept for eight hours, but the only thing I feel is tiredness and a slight ache in my bones. "You?"
"Alright," Kennedy says.
After I finish making my coffee, I join her at the kitchen table.
"You look pretty," I say.
"Thanks." She closes her laptop lid. "So. The others will take at least an hour for their grocery shopping. They walked there."
"Liam and Bonnie must have hated that."
Kennedy cracks a smile, but her expression turns serious. "I've moved into the master bedroom."
Ten minutes later, I follow her into the master bedroom, which is twice as large as the attic bedroom. Against one wall is a king bed with a wooden frame, a matching bedside table on either side of it. On the opposite wall is a large tallboy made of the same wood and above it hangs a large TV. By one wall is a massive desk, with an expensive-looking painting hanging on the wall behind it. The windows are covered with thin white curtains, letting in light but stopping anyone from outside to look in.
I close the door and walk over to where Kennedy sits on the end of the bed. She reaches out a hand and draws me closer, touching the back of my neck and pulling me down for a kiss.
I feel kind of dazed. Like this isn't real, but some strange dream world. We're going to have sex. It's happening. I still need to catch up, because everything this morning happened so suddenly.
Kennedy pulls back to look at my eyes. "Are you okay?" she asks. I realise my mouth is still closed.
"Yeah. Sorry. Just…" I shake my head, and lean towards her, and kiss her. "I want this to be good for you."
"Don't put pressure on yourself." She runs her hands down my chest and grabs the bottom of my shirt. "I don't have a romanticised idea of my first time."
I grab her hands before she pulls up my shirt, stopping her in her tracks. "What do you mean?"
"I mean, I know that losing my virginity won't be incredible. It's not like the movies."
I frown, and she smiles and kisses my hand. "Well, maybe for the boys. They'll finish. You'll finish."
"I'll help you finish," I say, wishing Kennedy had brought this up earlier, not seconds before we were about to have sex. I feel almost offended that Kennedy thinks our first time will be bad, even though she's saying it as a matter of fact.
"Okay," Kennedy says. "Let's just do this."
She pulls off my shirt and leans forward to kiss my abdomen before taking off her own shirt.
Only now do I notice my arousal. Before, I was too in my head. Stop getting distracted, Curtis.
I focus on unclipping Kennedy's bra. We help each other take off the rest of our clothing, sliding hands over each other's bodies on the way. Then I lay Kennedy on the bed, leaning over her.
A memory from last night makes me freeze. Liam. The bedside table. The condoms. That look on his face.
