"But you'd do it to someone like Melanie?"
This conversation is almost enough to make me forget about how cold I am. "I know I was an asshole."
"I was so shocked by the whole thing. I mean, look at you," Liam says, gesturing at me. "Good grades, teacher's pet, responsible, polite…"
"What are you saying?"
"I'm saying that girls don't expect you to hurt them. But you can. And you have."
My stomach twists. I think I feel even more shame and guilt because it's Liam saying this. If someone else was admonishing me, I doubt I'd feel as bad. Which is dumb. I shouldn't care about his opinion, even if his points are valid.
"I know," I say. After a few minutes, I continue. "I know you won't believe me, but I won't hurt Kennedy. Have you… talked to her about this?"
Liam waits a second to answer, eyes appraising me as he tortures me. "Yes."
"And?"
"Well, she's still dating you, isn't she? The things teenagers do for lust."
I take a moment to take that all in — that Kennedy knows, and she's never brought it up with me. The things teenagers do for lust.
I clench my jaw. "We're not together just because we're horny."
"Aren't you?" Liam replies.
I open my mouth, but before I can respond, Liam continues. "Not that I'm judging. Kennedy will do whatever she wants with you, she's made that very clear. And it's not my place to interfere, so I won't."
"You won't interfere?" I almost laugh, thinking of all the times Kennedy had to cancel plans on me because Liam insisted on taking up her time, on all the times Liam interrupted us and gave me the evil eye, all the times he would have bad-mouthed me to Kennedy.
"I've tried my best to be civil this entire holiday," Liam says, standing up. "So you can rest easy knowing I won't meddle with your relationship anymore. I've promised."
"I…" I don't know what to say to that. Am I supposed to thank him? No way. And yet… now that he's recounted that Elizabeth and Melanie story, I understand where he was coming from.
Liam heads towards the sail and I call out. "Wait."
He turns.
"Do you believe me?"
Liam raises a brow. Fuck, this is humiliating. I can't stop myself, though. I have to know.
"I regret what I did. I'm not that person anymore and trust me, I'd never, ever hurt Kennedy like that."
Something flashes through Liam's eyes — maybe surprise at the way I'm almost grovelling. But then his expression softens. "Yeah," he says. "I believe you."
I nod, and Liam turns away so I don't have to suffer in the awkwardness of that moment anymore. Something in me unfurls, and my body no longer feels so heavy. I don't know why I care so much about Liam's opinion, but I do, and I've cared about it this entire time.
#
For the rest of the sailing trip, Liam and I don't talk. I sneak glances at Liam, trying to guess what he's thinking while he looks out at the ocean, a tiny line in his brow. Even when the girls drift near us and wave, Liam's wave is limp and distracted.
We return to land, and once everyone steps out of the boat, I see a fair number of people with soggy clothing. When the girls spot Liam and my wet clothing, they jump up to us.
"Did you capsize on purpose?" Kennedy asks, looking into Liam's eyes for a moment before getting her answer. "You did."
"Erin!" Bonnie whines. "You should have let us capsize too!"
"No way. That water was freezing," Erin says.
