‘Thank you.’ She clamps her lips together, then parts them. ‘Noah. I need to tell you something.’ It comes out in a rush. ‘I told Jackson last night I want a divorce.’
I stare at her like an idiot.
‘I told him I didn’t want to be married to him anymore, and that I wanted a less fucked-up life for me and the kids.’
She’s looking at me expectantly. ‘That’s—that’s good. Good for you. Sounds sensible.’ I glug some champagne.
‘I told him I was in love with you.’
I nearly choke on my champagne.
‘You toldJacksonyou were in love withme?’ Holy fuck, is he going to beat me up? I won’t stand a chance. He’ll beat me to a bloody pulp.
Hang on.She’s in love with me?
‘Yes. Because I am. But I know this is a lot—I don’t want to presume anything. I know I’m a pretty fucked-up proposition. But I couldn’t be with him anymore. I couldn’t pretend, and I miss you. I miss you so much. Every day. And Mum asked me, right before she died, who I wanted holding myhand when I died, and I realised it’s you; I only want you, and?—’
I snap to my senses and grasp that the woman of my dreams is declaring eternal love to me, and that she’s telling me she’s getting out of her marriage for me, and I do the only thing that makes any sense. I put down my champagne flute and I close the space between us in a second and take her in my arms. And I kiss her.
The feeling when my lips meet hers is indescribable, because I never thought I would get to do this again. I never thought I’d get to slide my lips against the softness of hers, to rub my thumb along her jaw and thread my fingers through her beautiful, silky hair. To inhale her. To taste her as my tongue finds hers. To understand myself and my place in the world this profoundly through the touch of another person.
I can’t get close enough to her. I angle her head with my hand and my tongue dances deeper in her mouth, entangling hers. She moans softly and her fingers burrow under my shirt collar to stroke my neck. I tighten my grip on her. It’s unthinkable, now I’m kissing her, that I could ever have lived without this. Without her. And while my body responds to hers, my soul is soaring with the revelation that this isn’t it. She’s offering me everything.
I break reluctantly away. I have to tell her. I can’t have her thinking for a second this isn’t what I want. ‘I only want you, too. My darling. I’ll take everything you’re offering, all of it.’
Her face radiates the most beautiful smile, and I trace it with my finger before dropping my head to her collarbone. Her dress has some kind of corseted bodice with straps tied in big, gauzy bows. I slip one off and graze my lips along the distance from her neck to her shoulder.
‘You look like a glass of champagne in this dress,’ I murmur. ‘I wish I could take it off you and pour my champagne all over you, andlick it off.’
‘Hardly standard funeral behaviour,’ she says, but her voice is husky. I like to think it’s the effect of my kisses and my words. I run my hands over her smooth skin, knocking the second strap out of place. She’s so beautiful I can’t believe it, her huge, gold-green tiger eyes full of emotion and her mouth red and swollen from my kisses.
‘This isn’t exactly your average funeral.’ I skim my hands over her waist. ‘How did Jackson take the news?’ I brace myself for the answer.
‘He wasn’t thrilled. Understatement. But he recognised he didn’t have a leg to stand on, and it sounds like he and Leila are more serious than I thought, so really, he’s been having his cake and eating it. Anyway, you’ll be glad to hear he’s promised not to have a go at you. Not tonight, in any case.’
‘Thank fuck.’ This is truly excellent news. Maybe I can slip out a back door and give him the slip before the evening is over.
‘The only thing is, he’s worried I’m rushing into the whole divorce-and-new-lifestyle thing. He thinks I’m acting out of grief, and I shouldn’t be making big decisions right now.’
‘I can see his point.’ I reach back up and cup her face in my hands. Studying her. Drinking her in. ‘I’d usually agree and advise anyone who’s recently bereaved against making big life changes. Except I’m horribly biased in this situation, so I’m liable to be very unethical and advise you to throw it all away for me immediately.’
I nuzzle her neck, and she groans and wraps her arms more tightly around me.
‘Seriously, though.’ I bury my face in her neck. ‘Your husband is right. We should take this slowly, for your sake as well as your kids. And even him, I suppose. Dirty shagger that he is.’
‘Says the guy who seduced a married woman. Does taking it slowly mean not having sex anytime soon?’
I come up for air so quickly I practically head butt her. ‘Christ, no. We should find a hotel room immediately. Like, upstairs. Now. I meant the big stuff, like divorce, going public, that kind of thing.’
As soon as I say it, I grimace. I can’t even imagine the media shit-show this will be for everyone involved.
‘You’re right.’ She nods. ‘We need a plan for all that, and especially when telling the kids. But this evening, I just wanted to get my claws into you and make sure you were still kind of into me.’
‘I’m still very into you. You are not an easy woman to move on from, Honor Chapman. Ever.’ I kiss her gently on her soft, sweet lips and she smiles against my mouth.
‘Excellent news. You can break the news to your mum, then.’
Epilogue
