She continues, her leg gently rubbing mine. ‘I’m not sure I’ve ever been so turned on. Is it totally sick that I love your dirty doctor act?’
I laugh. ‘No sicker than me loving taking advantage of my beautiful patient. Believe me, I was as into it as you were.’
‘You wereveryconvincing. Quite intimidating, even, which really did it for me. Impressive acting skills.’
‘I think you must be my muse.’ I kiss her nose. ‘I haven’t acted out a part like that before. Well, not sinceMacbethat school, which had far less of a happy ending all round, let me tell you. But no harm in two consenting adults having some fun in a safe space. And anyway, I lost the plot once you came. I couldn’t hold it together enough to have my wicked doctor way with you like I wanted. You are too. Fucking. Sexy.’
‘Next time. Let’s do it again. Tomorrow.’
‘I think I can pencil you in for a follow-up appointment.’ Relief courses through my veins. I just need to last until tomorrow. I can do that. I’ll take each moment with her as it comes, and I’ll get to see her at Good Vibes, too. I’ll just haveto be content with that. ‘How long do I have you to myself right now?’
She looks at her watch. ‘Probably another half an hour. I need to get ready for a call at twelve.’
‘You can do it from here if you like. Naked.’ I drop a kiss on her glossy shoulder and she giggles.
‘It’s a Zoom call with Burberry. And my husband. So that wouldn’t work so well.’
Ugh. Her fucking husband. The mention of him is like a bucket of cold water.
‘Ah.’
‘Ah, indeed. It’s an important call, and I need to look like I haven’t just had two earth-shattering orgasms.’
‘You can shower here.’ My hand slides down to appreciate the luscious curve of her arse. ‘My washing skills are almost as fine as my acting skills. What are you speaking to Burberry about?’
She hesitates. ‘Between us?’
‘Of course, baby.’ I aim for a joke. ‘Doctor-patient confidentiality.’
‘We’re in the early stages of discussing a new pair of scents they’re looking to launch—for men and women. They’ve approached Jackson and me to face the campaign.’
‘Holy fuck.’ I reel internally. Honor and Jackson’s faces. Together. Splashed across every bus and billboard in London and beyond. ‘That sounds big. And lucrative.’
She nods. ‘It is. And… long. It’s a five-year contract, initially. With a high likelihood of it rolling over at the end of the term, because they want this scent to have longevity. Hence they’re interested in us, because we’re…’
‘Married. Dependable.’ It hits me in the gut. Burberry’s banking on Honor and Jackson still being together down the line. And they’ll reward that longevity handsomely.
‘I was going to say old. But yeah. They’re not thrilledabout Jackson’s recent press. That was one of the reasons our publicist thought it would be good to get snapped at Heathrow yesterday. The front pages today should reassure them.’ She sighs.
I stare at her. Try to see what’s inside that head. Minutes ago, when we came together, we were closer than I would have thought it possible to be with another person, and now I’m buggered if I can tell what motivates her. ‘Do you want this contract?’
Another telltale hesitation. ‘I do. It’s amazingly prestigious; it’s an endorsement of the brand we’ve built. And the knock-on effect for the Honor Chapman brand globally would be vast. It’s also a legacy, a way of capturing a moment in time for me and Jackson.’ She shrugs, avoids my eyes. ‘I suppose I’m just antsy at the pressure it puts us under, you know? Another five years of not fucking our marriage up; it’s a long time.’
In this moment, it feels like a life sentence. It’s the reminder I needed that I’m on the periphery, that this incredible, fragilethingI have with her can never fully bloom because it will be stunted by Honor’s requirement to play the game of a high-profile wife in public. Right here, right now, is as good as it’s going to get.
CHAPTER 26
Honor
Iask Ally to stop by the house on her way to Good Vibes. It’s been a week since we got back from France, and I could use some serious advice—advice that’s way too sensitive to be overheard in a coffee shop.
Ally and I have tag-teamed at the hospice on alternate days and we haven’t actually overlapped. I’d rather be there the whole time, for reasons that have nothing to do with poor old Mum, but unfortunately I have an empire to run, children to parent, and relentless press-related shit to manage. I also have a lover to see, and he’s doing an admirable job of taking priority at every single moment I can manage.
I give Carmen the morning off and ask the cleaning staff to stay upstairs. I’ll grind away with work at home until Ally shows up. Di’s taken the kids to multi-sports camp and will be back at some point, but that’s fine. Di knows everything there is to know. She’s completely assumed the role of enabler of this affair. Di is Team Noah all the way.
Di’s case is helped by the constant tabloid coverage of Jackson and Leila’s two-week-long press junket forVetin Europe. He left a couple of days after we got back fromFrance, thank God, and the tabloids are loving them. They’re currently in Italy, and footage of them in Rome last night has had theDaily Mailin overdrive this morning.
Ally arrives with a copy of said paper under her arm.
