‘Have I got your name right? Saoirse? Like Saoirse Ronan?’
‘Exactly!’ This woman’s earned a brownie point. I can’t resist a glance at Miles as if to saysee? Some people know her.He rolls his eyes, but otherwise is unmoved.
My curiosity gets the better of me. ‘Are you—was this a surprise? Because Miles never mentioned?—’
You. He never mentioned that there was the slightest chance of you popping up like this, right after we took our relationship to the next level.
‘No!’ Allegra beams again. Her smile is dazzling. Either she’s genetically blessed, or she’s gone for full Californian dentistry. And up close, her skin is flawless. An even, healthy, just-tanned-enough glow. ‘It was a surprise! I just came straight from Heathrow. That’s why I look so haggard.’
If this is this woman’s idea of haggard, I’m in trouble. If this isMiles’idea of a woman looking haggard, I’m fucked.
What am I thinking?
I’m fucked anyway.
The mother of his child is back in the UK.
The woman who broke his heart.
Who he loved enough to marry and make the world’s most beautiful little girl with.
I throw him a miserable glance, and it seems to rouse him from his stupor.
‘Saoirse.’ He clears his throat. ‘Why don’t you head on home. Allegra and I can take it from here.’
Allegra and I can take it from here?
Allegra and I.
Just like that, I’m redundant.
Shut out.
Pressure and moisture build behind my eyelids in the most horrible, mortifying way. I need to get out of here. Now.
‘Sure thing.’ I make my voice as cheery as possible and lean forward to kiss Bea. ‘Bye, Beadle. Allegra, it’s lovely to meet you. Have a good evening. Bye, Miles.’
I back towards the doorway, but Miles grabs my rucksack.
‘I’ll see you out.’
Bertie is manning the lift, so we spend the descent quiet and tense. I can feel Miles looking at me, but I keep my head down and focus on my nails.
When we emerge into the lobby, Miles puts a hand on my back and guides me over to a quiet sofa towards the back. It’s partially hidden by a large Christmas tree. I hang back as he sits, but he pulls at my sleeve.
‘Sit for a minute, will you?’
I sit awkwardly in my bulky coat.
‘Saoirse.’ He takes my hand. ‘I am so sorry.I had no fucking idea Allegra was about to barge in and blindside us—me—like that.’
‘I know you didn’t. It’s okay.’ My voice is small.
‘Look at me. Please.’
I look up, and his expression softens. ‘There she is.’
He strokes a piece of hair off my face, and I stay rigid. This feels wrong, given who’s upstairs.
