Jesse laughs. Miller raises his brows. Drew isn’t impressed. Danny looks like he wants to take me to see a psychiatrist. Jude shakes his head like he feels sorry for me. Good. I feel sorry for myself in this moment.
“What’s this?” Johnny asks, pointing to my Alexa, distracting all of us. He dips and puts his ear close, full of wonder. God, I seriously don’t have the bandwidth right now to explain. “A speaker,” I say. “Kind of. She can turn the lights on too. Keep my shopping lists, order me things, tell me what the weather’s like.”
Johnny jerks in surprise. “My god.”
“Wait.” Ryan turns a frown Johnny’s way. “If you’re from 1816, how the hell did you get here?”
“Horse.”
“Yee-haw,” Josh drawls.
“I sense you are mocking me, Mr Jameson.” Johnny’s face takes on an edge of darkness. “Iallegedlymurdered my parents, but, I must advise you, the rumours are unfounded. Alas, however false those allegations may be, I implore you not to be lulled into a false sense of security and believe for a moment that I may not be capable of such a heinous crime such as murder.”
“Fuck . . . me,” Josh breathes, blinking. “What did he just say?”
“He’s capable,” I clarify in simple terms.
“We should talk.” Danny’s suddenly interested in Johnny’s credentials. “If you feel like staying in 2025.”
“I don’t.”
“Your loss.”
“And yours.”
“Can we get back to the tree?” Jesse thrusts a hand impatiently at my beautiful, lush Christmas tree that’s still bare except for the string lights.
“This has officially become a HR incident,” I breathe, at a loss.
“It doesn’t have to be. I told you, I came first. I made you, Jodi. Millions of women adore me.”
“And here you are arguing with a pine tree,” Ryan quips.
“Someone shut him up,” Miller mumbles.
“I think I need to lay down.” I move toward the couch, prompting Ty to shoot up and make room for me.
“She needs to lay down,” he yells. “Clear the couch.”
Dec moves in and helps Ty move the cushions, helpfully plumping one and putting it under my head when I’ve collapsed onto the couch. “Okay?” he asks.
“No, I’m not.”
“You need to be careful, Ward,” Jake says, joining Danny and helping himself to a drink. “She’s armed.”
“Am I?” I check down my horizontal body, as if I could have missed the gun I apparently have in my possession.
“With words,” Jake confirms. “Absolutely emotionally lethal.”
“Yes, I am.” I nod in approval. “All of you remember that. I will exact revenge if I have to.”
“We should evacuate,” Ty announces.
“Why?” they all ask collectively.
“Drew’s tying knots.”
All eyes turn to Drew, who’s now by the tree, and I lift my head to see too. “I’m fixing the lights,” he retorts.
