Astrid nodded.
“Then it would seem ye put yerself in harm’s way by not giving the path the diligence it required.”
Astrid wrapped her arms around Aednat, holding her tight. Astrid had done so many things wrong, she was beginning to feel cursed. She needed reassurance of God’s love. “My thanks! I do not like to believe God is angry with me whenever something bad happens.”
Aednat squeezed her back and asked, her voice muffled against her shoulder, “Is yer behavior so terrible that ye deserve God’s wrath?”
Astrid pulled away. This was a question she didn’t know the answer to. Marcán said she did things, but was it intentional?
“No! It’s just that—” She wiped her tears before continuing. “I am of marriageable age… and… well, I wish to be married! Why would my brother not see to it? Am I never to be a wife?”
That was the real reason she had decided to find a match for herself rather than waiting for her brother. Pádraig had seemed like an ideal husband—pleasing to look upon, from a clan close to home, and a good warrior.
Only it had been the wrong thing to do. She knew that now.
“D’ye seek out men on yer own then?”
Had the woman read her mind? It seemed the answer would be yes, but Astrid could not confess to her what she didn’t understand herself, so she answered as honestly as she could. “I enjoy their attention when they talk to me, but they seldom do.”
And that was the problem. How was she to find a husband? If her brother was not looking out for her, she had no one looking out for her. Her mother wanted her to marry Pádraig, but that was mostly because Beibhinn wished to return to the Meic Murchadha.
Marcán protected ye once, but ye have no protection now.
Pádraig’s words came back to her. Despite her belief that Marcán was a good man, she’d treated him like he was no better than a fly buzzing about her head. He had indeed looked out for her. More than she’d wanted him to at the time. She was wiser now. And with that wisdom came the realization she had not given Marcán, or his words, their due respect.
“And all ye do is talk?”
Astrid’s face heated with shame. No matter what the men believed, she did not seek to be bedded before marriage. “I remain untouched!”
Her words sounded a bit harsher than need be, but Aednat did not seem to notice.
“For good measure, go to the priest with yer confession and be sure Diarmuid is aware of it.” Aednat grinned. “And be more careful of yerself. That starts with being mindful not to walk on yer injured leg overmuch. It needs to rest to be healed.”
“My thanks.”
Astrid needed time to think, but she didn’t want to rush off from Aednat. Listening to Aednat speak ofri túathSean’s decision that she and Diarmuid would be wed, Astrid longed for someone to make that decision for her. A husband was someone ye could talk to and share things with. Have children with.
Diarmuid would not accept that she was ready for marriage, but he was wrong. She was more than ready. His wish was for her to stay and care for their mother so he did not have to. It was not a kind thought, but sometimes it seemed to be the truth.
Chapter 6
Aednat had gone to fetch some eggs and Astrid, tired after a long night, had fallen asleep. Neither of them had thought of the danger.
Astrid awakened to a nightmare. Her new sister had been stolen by the men whose pursuit of Aednat had led to her marriage to Diarmuid. Astrid was flooded with guilt as she stood beside her brother and the men preparing to hunt down whomever had stolen his wife.
“And what of Marcán?” Astrid asked.
“It was as I said. They had passed out in a cave, though he swears they were not drunk. They will be here anon. Our mother as well. Marcán especially desires to speak withye.” Diarmuid mounted his horse and signaled the others to fall in line with him. “Have them follow me. I will track her down.”
Astrid shivered, afraid to think of what Marcán wanted to say to her. “I did not know I needed to watch out for her, brother.”
“Wheesht now, Astrid! I will find her. Do as I said!”
By the time she made it to the roundhouse, the horses coming from the west could be heard. Her chest squeezed the louder they got. When she caught sight of Marcán and the few men with him, relief soared within her. The feeling caught her unguarded, and she was struck by how much she had feared for him.
If he knew Pádraig had taken her home, he also knew she’d only pretended to retire for the night. That she had left the hut behind his back. He might have even confronted Pádraig for not seeking his permission as he should have. Marcán had clearly shown she was under his protection.
Dark and foreboding, Marcán sat high in his saddle, scanning the people who’d gathered around them until his gaze came to rest on her. The force of his attention made it hard for her to take a breath. He was menacing in the extreme and he had her in his sights—jumping from the horse before the beast had come to a complete stop, striding toward her.
