She shook her head as if she were trying to figure the answer out. "That's the stupidest thing of all. I didn't know how to find you. You had deployed, and I was young and dumb. My father had taken away every way I'd had of contacting you; my phone, computer, everything. I seriously thought I'd be able to find you after I graduated and we'd be able to be together no matter what my father said."
"Hmm. I guess I can understand that." That was the best response I could come up with. Time and age had taught me that people do dumb things, myself included. Tonight showed that.
We sat there; the fire casting long shadows on the wall until her breathing slowed. When I was sure she was asleep, I lifted her up and carried her to my bed. I tucked her in, set a glass ofwater by the nightstand, and made sure her phone was within reach.
Then I sat on the edge of the mattress, watching her chest rise and fall, fighting the urge to run through the night and tear the world apart.
For now, my job was to protect her. Later, I’d see about revenge. Beg for her to forgive me for being so covered in my own selfish grief that I failed to consider hers.
But for tonight, this was enough.
When I woke, the sunlight was already slanting in through the open window, a wedge of gold splitting the bedroom in two. Harper was still asleep, one hand flung out across the comforter, hair sprawled like a field of fallen wheat. She hadn’t moved since I’d laid her down hours before. For once, her face looked peaceful—soft, almost young. I made myself memorize it. There weren’t many times in my life when I’d seen that kind of peace on anyone’s face.
I moved slow, not wanting to jar her awake. My every instinct said to stay, to keep the world out, to let her rest until she was ready to meet it again. But my wolf was on high alert—pack business never stopped, not even for love or heartbreak—so I left a note on the nightstand, the same blocky all-caps as before, and let myself out.
There were meetings that morning. Bronc wanted a sitrep on Eyrie; Wrecker had heard rumors of a new shipment at the rail yard. I went through the motions, nodding when expected, barking orders when necessary. But all the while, my thoughts drifted back to the girl sleeping in my bed.
When I got home, Harper was up and about. She was in the kitchen, standing on tiptoe to reach a mug from the upper shelf,wearing nothing but a pair of my old army sweats and a pink tank top I didn’t recognize. She’d made coffee—strong enough to burn a hole through the cup—and had started to pour a mugful.
She didn’t notice me at first. Her focus was absolute, mouth twisted in concentration. It was how she used to look at crossword puzzles, or the maps we’d trace with our fingers, charting the distance from Texas to New York and back. For a second, I just watched her, letting the sight stitch something together in my chest.
She glanced up and caught me staring.
“Morning,” she said, eyes wary but not unfriendly.
“Morning,” I echoed, and crossed to the fridge. I grabbed a bottle of water and drained half of it, then leaned against the counter, arms crossed, waiting for her to set the tone.
“I read your note,” she said, voice careful. “Thank you.”
I shrugged. “Didn’t want you to wake up alone.”
She traced the rim of her mug, not meeting my eye. “I don’t know what happens now. I don’t even know who I am anymore. Everything that made me me is gone.”
I closed the distance and set my hands on her shoulders, firm but gentle. “That’s bullshit. You’re still you. You just get to decide things now.”
She gave a bitter little smile. “You’re just saying that because you want it to be true.”
“I want you to believe it,” I said, squeezing her shoulders. “You survived three years in hell, and you came out the other side with your soul intact. That’s more than most people can say.” I paused, letting the words land. “I know I can’t fix everything. But I can be here for whatever you need. I know I’ve started on shaky footing. I didn’t know what happened, and I’ve felt sorry for myself for years. I’ve been so fucking angry every day for as long as I can remember. But I never stopped lovingyou. I want to be here for you. Even if I’ve fucked things up until now. I’ll be here for you for as long as you want me.”
She looked up then, really looked, and her eyes were fierce. “Even after everything? After what I let happen?”
My hands tightened. “None of that was your choice, Prima. Not a single second. You were forced. You were manipulated, tortured, and made into something you never wanted to be.” I bent down, putting my forehead to hers. “To me, you’re still the girl who used to drag me out to the lake at midnight to count shooting stars. You’re still the only woman I’ve ever wanted. The goddess gave me you. If you want to say no, I’ll let you walk out the door and never stop you. But I’ll never stop loving you.”
She closed her eyes, a tear leaking out. I caught it on my thumb before it could fall.
“I was never strong enough to escape,” she whispered. “Not because I was afraid for myself, but because I knew he’d go after Brie. After my mom. Steiner told me, if I ever ran, he’d kill them both and send me the proof.”
I nodded, understanding settling in my gut like a stone. “That’s what I would have done.”
She looked up, surprised. “You think I did the right thing?”
“I think you did the only thing you could. You protected your family. You did what a wolf is supposed to do. You kept the people you loved alive, even if it meant dying yourself a little every day.” My voice broke, but I kept going. “I’m proud of you. I’ll always be proud of you.”
She reached up then, fingers trembling, and touched my jaw. “You’re not mad at me?”
I huffed a laugh. “Mad at Steiner. Mad at the world. Not at you. Never at you.”
The tension left her all at once. She slumped against me, letting me catch her weight. I scooped her up, one arm around her shoulders, the other under her knees, and carried her to thecouch. She clung to me, face pressed into my shirt, as if she could burrow inside and hide there forever.
