I consciously unclenched my nervous fists and took a steadying breath, ignoring the way he ignored my question. “My day? Um, weird.”
He chuckled softly. “Weird?”
“Your nephew is going to give me gray hair.” His soft, tentative laugh turned into a deep-chested barrel laugh. “Brody?”
“He is wild, Sam. If I’m not threatening to send him to the office, I’m trying to get him to keep from throwing us off track. Today he threw a fit about using scissors, and then just when I thought I’d convinced him to finish his project, he told the whole class you wanted to marry me.” I laughed like it was the funniest thing in the world, but this time, Sam didn’t.
“He does hate scissors,” Sam said seriously.
I side-eyed him, my heart suddenly in my throat. “He knows you fluster me. He brings up Uncle Bam Bam as often as he can.”
Sam tightened his grip on the steering wheel and shot me a lingering, thoughtful look. “Why’s that?”
There was heat behind his gaze, something sexy in the quirk of his mouth. My thoughts turned hazy. My lungs were suddenly forced to fight for oxygen. “Why’s what?”
“Why do I fluster you, Holly?”
A nearly hysterical laugh bubbled out of me. Was he serious? One quick glance confirmed he was. “You’re serious?”
He lifted one shoulder in a casual shrug. “We’ve known each other forever, Haden. What about me could possibly fluster you?”
“Well, first of all, we used to know each other. I haven’t seen you in six years.”
“Yeah? And are you going to tell me why?”
Why did he sound so mad suddenly? Why did it feel like we were on the verge of a fight I hadn’t seen coming? “Why I haven’t seen you?”
“Yeah, why have you been avoiding me for six years?”
“Avoiding you?” Now I was really flustered. If I thought I was flustered before, that was delusion. This was really flustered. This was super flustered. This was flustered so hard my hands went numb. “I haven’t been avoiding you?”
“Is that so? You just happen to disappear after we finally kiss and then don’t come back ever?”
“I didn’t realize the date you kidnapped me for was going to be an interrogation.” Sure, my tone was a little snippy, but what did he want me to say? What was he trying to prove? Was it over the top to throw my body out of his moving vehicle?
He rubbed a hand over his face, the faint scruff of his day-old beard scratching against his palm. “I’m sorry. You’re right.” He paused long enough for me to finally exhale my pent-up breath. “I told myself to let it go. To drop it.” Another heated look in my direction. Another spasm of nervous flutters attacking my body. “I’m glad you’re back. It’s just that what happened all those years ago has felt . . . unfinished. I liked you a lot back then, Holly.I mean . . .” Another frustrated hand slid against his jawline. “More than I probably should have. And when we kissed that night . . .” We pulled up to a red light, and this time when he looked at me, he held my gaze, imprisoned it. “When we kissed that night, I expected it to lead to more. I . . . I wanted it to be more than just some random thing under random mistletoe.”
Then why did you kiss my mom?I wanted to scream the question at him, but I was afraid of the answer. I was afraid of his confession. All of this felt like my own heart’s desires reflected back at me. Only instead of it giving confidence or healing those broken pieces . . . I only felt fear and panic. Would this date end the same way as our first kiss—in utter disappointment and a hard reality check?
So instead, I said, “I had no idea.”
And it wasn’t a lie, because how was I supposed to know he wanted our kiss to be something more when immediately afterward he’d kissed someone else?
“You didn’t know I was into you?” He winced. “I was younger, I guess. Insecure. I should have told you from the start.”
“Told me what?” If I’d relaxed before, the feeling was gone now. I was nothing but taut tension and bated breath.
“How much I like you, Holly. How I’ve always liked you. How I was careful because I respected Cooper and I suppose Teagan too. How I was afraid to mess things up with you because you’re the kind of girl that I didn’t want to lose. That I was afraid to lose.” The light turned green, and some of the light leeched from his green eyes. “But then I lost you anyway.”
“S-Sam, I don’t—”
“You thought it was just a kiss, but it was so much more to me.”
“I saw you later that night.” The truth spilled out of me. He was saying too much. He was matching too many of my ownonce-upon-a-time feelings. I couldn’t take it. Did he not know? Did he not remember?
“What do you mean?” His question was earnest, intense.
“I saw you under the mistletoe with my mom. You kissed her.”
