I laughed. And it felt so weird that I laughed again. Oh God. I was laughing because I was laughing. And I’d only had two shots. And what?
“You’ll be fine,” I finally managed to say. “I’m replaceable.”
We’d reached the back door. Charlie unlocked it with his key and pushed it open. The warm air floated inside smelling of early summer and moonlight. “You, Ada Kelly, are one of a kind. We could never hope to replace you.”
Distantly, I realized I’d backed into a place I promised never to go again. Charlie English was dangerous all the time. But he was especially dangerous after dark. Five years ago, I’d vowed I would never get caught with him alone after close.
Ninety-nine percent of the time, I made quality, well-thought-out decisions. I was ridiculously responsible. I was self-disciplined and driven. I always—as much as I was able—chose the most foolproof path there was.
Oof, but that leftover one percent was packed with wild, wicked rebellion.
I worked hard to quash the one percent. I made rules. And promises. And plans with plan Bs. I never let the small slice of Reckless Ada out. Because Reckless Ada didn’t care about Ninety-Nine Percent Ada. Reckless Ada gave Ninety-Nine Percent Ada a long list of regrets and shame.
Reckless Ada did not have good judgment when it came to Charlie English in the moonlight. Which was why Ninety-Nine Percent Ada worked really hard to keep him distant and angry and pissed at her. Ninety-Nine Percent Ada only dealt with Charlie English in the light of day.
“You, Ada Kelly, are one of a kind. We could never hope to replace you.”He wasn’t allowed to say things like that.
“Don’t be nice to me,” I told him firmly. My hand landed on his shoulder. “I don’t know what to do when you’re nice.”
He made a face that Ninety-Nine Percent Ada would cringe at tomorrow. There was sympathy there. Regret maybe. Something so serious it hurt to look at directly. “I think you just like to fight. I think you like it when we go to war, Ada. It keeps you on your toes.”
I wasn’t so drunk that I couldn’t keep my thoughts to myself. Like,maybe he’s right.And war wasn’t supposed to be this fun.And I had to stay on my toes because I might do something stupid if I was ever flat-footed. Like swoon.So take that, English.
“I’m going to go home now.”
He put his hand over mine that was resting against his chest now.How did that happen?“Eat something when you get there. You’ll feel better if you do.”
“Okay, boss.” I grinned at my joke, but his jaw ticked like he was mad about something.
“I’m going to watch you cross the street.”
“I’m fine.”
“I know.” He didn’t move. He pushed the door open wider and rested against it. Apparently, he was taking a stand.
I sighed. “You’re so weird.”
“Good night, Ada. Say hi to Adleigh for me.”
I snorted in response. I was too flustered to come up with something witty. Or sarcastic. Or mean.
Leaving Charlie in the doorway, I safely crossed the street because I really wasn’t that drunk. Maybe a little tipsy. But whatever. I lived close.
The walk home to my upper-level apartment was short and sweet, but I felt Charlie’s hard gaze on me the entire time. I obviously ignored him.
Slipping inside my building, then quietly into my apartment, I decided not to dissect the change in Charlie too much. He’d been nice at the end of the night, but so what? One night wasn’t an entire personality. Or an apology.
He liked being a bartender. So he wanted a friend to celebrate not getting fired by his siblings. It was a thing. But it was his thing.
I didn’t need to feel proud of him. Or impressed that he had learned how to take at least one thing in his life seriously. I definitely didn’t need to feel special that he wanted to share his happiness with me. Or cared for just because he watched me walk home.
He would have watched any of his employees if they lived as close as I did. He didn’t want anyone to get murdered on his watch. It was a totally normal precaution to take.At least that’s what I convinced my brain. Safer that way.
I ate a late-night PB and J and stopped overanalyzing all the nothings that had happened today. Tomorrow was a new day. Charlie would have unlimited opportunity to disappoint me then.
three
My alarm wentoff at nine the next morning. I’d gotten almost five hours of sleep and that felt like a solid amount for me. It was Saturday morning, and the urge to hit snooze and roll back over was strong, but I resisted. I had a lot to do today. Plus, Adleigh was home.
