The youngest son, Ashka, stepped forward to take her hand. And Alexi and Andretzo stepped out of line and waved toward the corridor we were meant to take. They led the way while the other three middle boys followed, Anton jumping right to Katrinka’s side. They began to speak in hushed whispers while Andretzo shot furtive looks at them over his shoulder.
So many siblings reminded me of my own family, my own brothers. I remembered them being thick as thieves, always getting into some kind of mischief. And usually blaming it on me. Not that my mother ever believed them.
Ravanna’s knowledge of my mother had made me doubt what I knew of her, made me doubt that I knew her at all. But my memories were not false. I had enjoyed a very happy childhood and a very loving family.
That was why the pain of their absence stung so sharply now. If I had loved them any less, the grief I felt even to this day would be less too. It was because I loved them so dearly that I could not stand to be parted from them. Even nine years later.
Heprin and my time at the temple had taught me to be grateful for grief and the weight it left me carrying. The priests taught only great love could bring great pain. And that the depth of our grief was a measure of our affection for those lost. A life with little grief was not a life well lived.
It was the sad soul, the longing soul, the heavy soul who had so many opportunities to love and be loved that their life had become a lament.
The lives most celebrated in Heprin were the lives marked by tragedy and loss. It was those sorrowful souls who were thought to have experienced and celebrated the best this world could offer.
I thought about Oliver and the absolute suffering I would face if I lost him. Or Taelon. I knew what it was to love deeply. So I would always know what it was to suffer deeply. I would write a letter tonight for Finch. I had no idea how he would get it to either of them, but I trusted Taelon. So I would trust Finch too.
“Your rooms,” Alexi announced with a flourish of his hands. Andretzo was showing Ravanna her room. And Anton and Katrinka had their heads bowed together while exchanging furtive whispers at her door.
I paused at the threshold to watch them for a minute. Alexi glanced over at them and sighed. But even in my tired state, I could tell he was annoyed at their closeness.
“They have always been trouble together,” he murmured so they could not hear. “Always sneaking off to where they should not go. Anton is... not the obedient son he would have our parents believe. I thought Katrinka’s departure would make him more compliable. But with my mother and father’s recent absence, he has become wilder than ever. If you care for your sister, you will keep her close to your side while she is here.”
Andretzo left Ravanna’s room to stand by Anton. His eyes followed Katrinka’s movements, her face, her laughter like he was a dying man in need of a life-saving drink of water. He smiled when she smiled. Laughed when she laughed. And I wasn’t even entirely sure he knew what she was laughing at.
“It pleases me to see how friendly your brothers have been to her,” I told Alexi, ignoring all the other things he’d try to accuse her of. “She is very dear to me.”
He moved closer to me, our shoulders brushing as we watched them from across the dark hallway lined with gargoyles and candelabra. His head dipped even closer to mine until we were uncomfortably intimate. “As she is to us. It seems now that your bloodline has been restored, our families are inextricably linked.”
He reached out to pet the top of Shiksa’s head, but she recoiled, scrambling higher up my body. I laughed to cover my worry as I pulled out her tiny claws from the fabric of my traveling dress. “Elysia is fortunate to have an ally in Barstus. I can see that.”
I remembered Conandra. Maksim to my uncle’s left. Blackthorne to his right. Had they not already been close friends?
Alexi stepped fully in front of me so I was forced to look into his eyes. “I hope we can be more than allies, Your Highness.” My mouth dried out at his unspoken implication and the way his brown eyes seemed to heat with something I didn’t want to face. But he finished mildly with, “Friends. I would love for us to be friends.”
I offered him a tight smile and then abandoned my sister by ducking into my bedroom. The fire had been lit, but only recently, for it had not chased the chill from the room yet. Or maybe the cold, sickly feeling washing over me had more to do with the Crown Prince than the temperature.
Katrinka seemed so at home here, but after being introduced to this kingdom, I found myself agreeing with Ravanna. I would be much happier when we were on our way again.
ChapterTwelve
Clesta was there to wake me in the morning, for which I was grateful. She was still mad at me for the scene I’d convinced her into causing the day before. But this was not the first time she’d refused to talk to me.
Nor would it be the last.
But still, she did her duty and shook me awake. The sky was still too dark for me to have noticed sunlight, and I woke on my own. In fact, the constant rainfall disoriented my sense of time. I had no idea what hour it was. If I had slept until supper. Or if it was first thing in the morning.
I had not even been in Barstus a full day yet, and already I was tired of the rain, the bone-deep chill, and the gargoyles.
More looked at me from around the room. Carved into the marble fireplace, hanging off the four posters of the large bed, snarling from the bath foot claws, or embroidered into my pillows.
Everywhere I turned, a ferocious beast was staring back at me, maw yawning wide to reveal its razor-sharp teeth.
Sitting in bed now, I wondered how Katrinka could have survived this place. Last night, seeing her with the Zolotov sons, I felt warmth for her and her sanctuary. But in the gray light of day, I worried about what it would be like to live here all the time.
“They will be waiting for you to start breakfast if you do not hurry, Lady.” Clesta’s reserved admonition held her ire and her duty all at once.
I sighed, knowing she was right. “When I am queen, I will make a royal edict to move breakfast one hour later. Then I will never be late.”
She snorted quietly. “When you are queen, that will be your prerogative. Although I’d like to see you get the farmers to agree. They have to be up with the sun. I don’t suppose they’d like waiting till nearly supper time to break their fast.”
