My jealousy was also appeased.
The music changed, slowing way down. The DJ said something about fulfilling a request, but all I could hear was the frantic beating of my heart as Vann wrapped his hands around my waist and I found my arms curling around his neck.
He looked at me from beneath hooded eyelids and thick lashes. “You don’t remember much about last night, do you?”
I shook my head, another blush creeping over my face, painting it in red with the admission of truth. “There were too many shots. It’s coming back to me, but it’s all jumbled and messy.”
His lips kicked with a smile. “I remember some messy parts too.”
Dropping my head, I pressed my cheek against his chest to hide. “Oh, my god.”
His laugh rumbled beneath me and I had to close my eyes against the rapid beating of my heart. Oh hell, I liked that feeling too much.
His head dipped, so he could press his cheek against my forehead. “It was a good night, Dillon. I’m disappointed you don’t remember. It’s making me insecure.”
I clutched him tighter, unable to look him in the eyes. It was making me question everything. But that wasn’t something I could admit to him. I tugged my tried and truefinepersonality tightly around myself. I was fine. Last night was fine. Everything was fine. “It’s not you. Seriously, I can usually hold my liquor better than that.”
“I didn’t realize you were too drunk to remember.” His voice had lost the teasing edge and was replaced with concern.
Shrugging, I stayed under cover. “It’s one of my superpowers. I’m usually more careful though.”
We danced in silence for a while, both of us lost in thought. Honestly, I could barely untangle mine to make them out. I couldn’t even guess at his.
There was a lot to think about. A lot to be embarrassed about. Just all around a lot.
“I’m not planning to take you home tonight,” he announced.
I pulled back, unable to not look at his face and gauge whether he was serious. “Are you for real right now?”
His gray eyes turned silver with emotion I couldn’t read. “I don’t want you to get the wrong idea about me. I’m not usually so… easy.”
My mouth dropped open. Was that a dig at me? I honestly couldn’t tell. Forget what I’d just decided about this man. He wasn’t open and honest. He was an enigma. A total and complete mystery. Who was he? “Are you insulting me?”
He laughed and pulled me tighter against him. His lips dropped to my ear. “No, not insulting.”
We danced in silence again. I was hypnotized by his body so close to mine and his lips at my ear, his breath floating over my bare skin. I was glad he didn’t think he was going to get laid two nights in a row. That wasn’t a thing I did.
Mostly because I didn’t sleep with anyone anymore. Mostly because I was basically a monk.
Nor did he need to know how disappointed I was at the same time I was utterly relieved. How did that even make sense?
And yet there was a part of me that wanted to go back to his place and remember everything this time.
I needed to know if he was as good as all my drunk memories popping up uninvited.
Picking my head up off his chest, I finally found the right thing to say. “I have to work tomorrow anyway.”
His furrowed brow was enough of a question.
“You got this random snapshot of me being totally irresponsible and reckless this weekend. But I promise, I’m usually way more settled down and focused than this. Tomorrow it’s back to work and my schedule becomes total insanity. So… what I’m trying to say is…”
“Yes, please tell me what you’re trying to say.”
His impatience made my heart skip. Was I doing the right thing? I was doing the only thing. “I’m trying to say thanks for hanging with me this weekend and making sure I always had someone, so I didn’t feel like a total loser for being single.” There, that should do it. I was complimentary, direct, and to the point. He should get the point.
And he did. Only it didn’t feel like the right thing. It felt awful.
His chin jerked back, and his eyes widened in surprise. “Am I being dismissed?”
