I dropped Max off at his classroom, adjusting his shepherd’s costume before I darted off toward the auditorium. I had planned to get here much earlier, but life and Max and the darn striped sheet I’d decided I could jimmy-rig into a shepherd’s robe wouldn’t cooperate. So I was only going to be able to snag four seats together toward the back. Which made me incredibly nervous. This was Rich and Darcy’s first real Max event and I didn’t want to disappoint them.
This far in the country, our public school still put on a Nativity-inspired Christmas play. Max had been a sheep last year as a kindergartner. This year, he’d moved up to shepherd. I was shooting for one of the wise men next year, but they had speaking parts. That probably meant volunteering at more class parties. Drat.
I ran by Jamie in the hallway. She had a to-go cup of coffee in her hand from the one coffee shop in town—family owned, not Starbucks—and lifted a perfectly manicured hand to wave at me. “Hey!”
“Hi,” I greeted breathlessly. “I’m sorry, I have to save seats and I’m worried there aren’t going to be any left.”
Her brows wrinkled in confusion. “Oh, I think the Coles saved you one already.”
“They’re already here?” I whispered, more panicked than when I went into labor.
She smiled wider. “They’ve got seats near the front. Prime real estate. Trust me.”
I felt sick. “Oh, my god.”
“Hey, are you okay?” Her cool hand landed on my shoulder.
Every muscle in my body tightened as I forced my crap under control. “I’m sorry. This is just so weird. I’m not used to having… other people in Max’s life yet.”
Her expression turned to concern. I’d never officially confessed to Jamie, I didn’t think we were that good of friends. But I knew she knew by now. The whole county knew by now.
“You could have told me,” she said. “I mean, I know we’ve only known each other for a short time, but I’m here for you, Ruby. Seriously.”
I swallowed down a sudden lump in my throat. Her offer felt sincere. And that felt strange. I didn’t make friends easily—or at all. And I certainly wasn’t expecting to find one in Jamie Mannor-Shulz. “I didn’t tell anyone,” I said honestly. “Not even my friend, Coco. I just… when he died, that door felt closed. I didn’t want to cause anyone unnecessary pain.” What I meant by that was that I didn’t want to cause myself unnecessary pain. I was working through my selfishness. It was a daily battle. I hadn’t even realized how self-centered I’d become. But I’d grown up in this kill or be killed environment and in an effort to separate myself from that world, I had really only ever focused on myself. It was why I’d never realized Levi had feelings for me. It was why I let myself sleep with Logan when I should have waited for Levi. It was why I was so devastated when my plans didn’t work out.
Some of that focus had shifted when Max was born. But I still kept us isolated from the town, from opening up to other people. I was so worried about gossip and becoming the topic of conversation, I’d made us an island in the middle of a landlocked state.
In the process I’d hurt a lot of people. I was working on lifting my eyes and seeing those around me, letting other people in, thinking about other people besides Max and me. It wasn’t easy. My gut reflex was to hold Max close and shut the world out. But I wasn’t going to give up on it.
It was time to give this town and these people a chance.
It was time to let Max flourish in the place he would forever call home, no matter what he did with the rest of his life.
“I get that,” Jamie said kindly. “But I’m glad the truth is out now. That must have been a heavy burden to carry.”
It had been. But I didn’t realize how heavy until it was off my shoulders. “I’m glad the truth is out, too,” I said honestly. “I’m glad the Coles get to know Max. And I’m beyond happy he gets to know them. They’re wonderful people. I guess… I guess I judged them before I ever knew them. I didn’t give them enough credit.”
She gave me a funny look. “It’s funny how we do that, huh?”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
She nudged my shoulder with hers. “Oh, I don’t know, maybe it means that I basically had to beg you to be friends with me. You’re a tough nut to crack, Ruby Dawson.”
My cheeks flushed with embarrassment. “You didn’t have to beg me to be friends with you.”
Her eyes bugged. “Um, do you remember me practically throwing Halloween supplies at you? Yes, I did.”
I tipped my head back and laughed. “Is that what you were doing? I assumed all the other moms knew what you wanted them to do and ran away screaming.”
She shrugged. “Okay, maybe there was a little bit of that, too. But I also wanted to be your friend. You’re the only other normal mom in that classroom.”
“I’d hardly consider myself normal.”
“Ha! Normal to me is not sitting around, getting drunk on wine at four o’clock in the afternoon and talking about how not hot all the guys we graduated high school with have gotten.”
“That’s what I’m missing in the Mommy and Me classes? I think I’m okay with that. I don’t see any problem with the wine though. Totally on board with the wine.”
She snorted a laugh. “Okay, that makes two of us. We can start our own Mommy and Me wine date. But only if you promise me we can talk about normal things and not high school.”
