My mom never chipped in for groceries. Since I lived in her home on reduced rent, cooking and cleaning were how I paid the rest of my way. Groceries were my responsibility. And if Max and I had to go hungry, that was our problem. Maxine wanted nothing to do with our problems.
Which was why I hesitated now.
Coco thought it was ridiculous I had to pay my mom to watch my kid. But she was cheaper than daycare and usually reliable. Saturday nights were a different story though. She was usually never available, except on the occasional night off or if I needed to work, so I never asked.
But she was home tonight… and dancing sounded fun. Hell, dressing up like a grownup sounded like fun.
I wanted something sexy with heels and makeup. I wanted to feel like something other than a mom for just a minute.
“Spit it out,” Maxine ordered, noticing my mental Olympics.
“Coco texted…”
She gave me a hard look from across the table. I was an adult with a child and yet she had this amazing ability to make me feel five years old again with just the raise of her drawn on eyebrows.
“And?”
Big girl panties, Ruby. This was your mom, not an invading dictator, threatening to strip all your freedoms and lock you away in an internment camp for the rest of your life. “Would you mind terribly if Max hung out with you tonight? I thought maybe I could meet her in town for a drink or two?”
She shoveled another bite of casserole in her mouth. Frown lines started to appear around the corners of her mouth and she stabbed at her next bite more forcefully. “You know, I never had help with you. I never had a mom around to watch my kid, so I could go paint the town red.”
It wasn’t like she hadn’t gone out when I was a kid, though. She just took me with her. To the bar, to Misty’s, to the neighboring trailer. But telling her that would have been pointless.
My stomach fizzled with dread. I shouldn’t have asked. I should have just told Coco no.
“Please, Grammy?” Max chimed in, surprising us both. “You promised we could watch Jurassic Park next time! Please, please, please!”
Leave it to a child to soften the ice queen’s cold, dead heart. She looked at him, her eyebrows settling back to a more normal position. “I did say that didn’t I?”
“I have M&Ms,” he added, bribing his grandmother with candy to get her to spend time with him. I would consider that later… after I went dancing and remembered that I was a woman again and not just a mom.
She cracked a smile at him. “Does your mom have popcorn to pop?”
He rolled his eyes. “Always.”
“All right, but you can’t be any trouble, okay? Grammy’s not in the mood for shit.”
“Mom,” I growled, but Max was beaming from ear to ear.
“Promise!”
She threw her head toward my bedroom. “Yeah, I don’t care then. Go on, go have fun.”
I smiled at her. “I’ll make it up to you,” I promised, meaning I would pay her later. For as hard of a woman as she was, she had let me keep it a secret that I paid her for babysitting. I couldn’t stomach the idea of Max ever finding that out.
She shook her head and took another bite. “It’s all right. Like the kid said, we’ve been wanting to watch the movie.”
Surprised tears wet the corners of my eyes and I jumped out of my chair before she could see them. If I thought it was awful to show Levi emotion, it would have been a thousand times worse to break down in front of my mom.
“Thanks, Mom. Seriously, thank you.”
She waved me off. “Just don’t come home pregnant again.”
I threw myself into my bedroom, already texting Coco back to let her know I would meet her at Pug’s. I had already brushed my mom’s comment off because that was crazy talk, when I heard Max say, “Does dancing get you pregnant?”
Oh, god.
My mom answered, “In your mom’s case it does.”
