I ducked inside the restaurant, thankful it was mostly quiet. Denise and her staff of help slaved away in the kitchen, but the dining room was strangely empty and silent. Usually filled with tables and people from town, it felt weird to stand in the middle of the bare space. The house lights were off, so they wouldn’t spill onto the streets and only the light from the kitchen window illuminated the space.
Balling my hands into fists, I placed them on my hips and started pacing. Why was I acting so crazy? It wasn’t like Levi had tried to contact me in the last seven years. Even during high school our rivalry was mostly innocent competition. It wasn’t like Levi had ever done anything to permanently damage me or anything.
So why was I running from him?
My mind immediately spun with memories of graduation night and Kristen’s party. I had been an idiot that night. A complete and total basket case. And he had been there to watch it all unfold.
Maybe that was why I couldn’t face him now. Latent shame and the ensuing consequences whispered his judgment all over my past.
There were certain things I refused to feel guilty about. Max was one of them. But for some reason when Levi was around all that humiliation and regret came pouring back in, filling my body from toes to nose with the fervency of a flash flood.
My thoughts fixated on that damn party.
“I don’t hate you. I’ve never hated you.” Levi’s words echoed around my head, so loud they almost filled the empty dining room like they’d been spoken by a ghost. In my memories, he reached for my hand.
“Then why are you such an asshole?” I’d demanded.
“So you’ll notice me.”
My heart tripped over itself trying to make sense of those words. I pressed a hand to my mouth and reminded the butterflies attacking my insides that was seven years ago and a lot had changed since then.
For starters, I had a kid now.
And another thing—he’d had a girlfriend at the time.
Deciding to start acting like a grown-up and stop letting Levi affect me so much, I grabbed Em and Coco’s drinks and headed back outside. A gentle breeze met me on the other side of the door, lifting my hair away from my shoulders and whispering that fall was on its way.
I didn’t always love Clark City, but I lived for autumn in this town. Even though I didn’t go to the high school football games, I couldn’t help but get swept away in the excitement of Friday night lights and the town tradition that went along with the games. And then there was Supper in the Square and the Halloween extravaganza. Soon there would be town-wide invites to the annual barn dance at the Cunningham’s and Husker football potlucks.
I didn’t actually attend any of the festivities, but I loved the buzzing atmosphere and the change in weather.
Fall was supposed to be the death of things, but it felt more like rebirth for me. I knew my seasons were messed up, but it was the change of leaves that breathed life into my soul and the crisp air and early darkness. I loved the sweaters and scarves and boots after a sweltering summer where I just wanted to strip naked and lie underneath my ceiling fan on full blast.
Tonight, felt like steps toward something I loved and it softened me toward this town with its twinkling lights glittering on every building and all around the courthouse park. I dropped Coco and Emi’s drinks off, happy to see Emilia’s friends hadn’t stuck around. I wasn’t in the mood for high school politics tonight.
“You two want the special then?” I asked them. “All the fixings?”
“Duh,” Coco said matter of fact. “All the fixin’s.”
“Anything else?”
“Can you take your break with us?” Em asked with the pout I had a hard time saying no to. “You need to eat too, right?”
I didn’t need to, but I wanted to before the kitchen ran out of chicken. “I’ll see.” Looking around at the remaining tables, I couldn’t help but ask. “Where did your friends go?”
“House of Pies,” she explained. “A few of them ate earlier at Mickey D’s.”
That wasn’t a reference to the most famous, hamburger joint in the world. There was an actual restaurant in our town called Mickey D’s. Their club sandwich competed with ours and the town had been arguing about which one was best since the beginning of time, but they couldn’t even pretend to hang in the same league with our chicken.
“Huh,” I managed.
She grinned at me. “Are you sad you didn’t get to say hello?”
I blinked at her. “So sad.” Then to Coco I added. “You’d think all her one with nature crap would make her more in-tune to the snobby bitches of this world, but she seems completely immune.”
Coco nodded her head in solidarity. “I think this is one of those ‘takes one to know one’ situations.”
Emilia waggled her finger at us. “Don’t be judgy.”
