Of course he was right.
Damn him.
I did hide away. I didn’t engage with this town because I assumed they were talking trash about me, but the truth was, I didn’t know.
And if they were? So what. Did I care about their opinions so much I should let them cripple me? No. The answer was a resounding no.
By the time Levi showed up with Max at our home later, five minutes past nine, I decided Levi had brought up some valid points, but he was still the worst and I should hate him for his unwanted opinions.
He didn’t get out of his truck. He just dropped Max off and let him carry his booster to the door—which he was perfectly capable of doing, it just further pissed me off.
Levi waved to Max after I opened the door and then drove off, not even acknowledging me. The bastard.
“D-did you have fun?” I asked Max, desperate to get my mind off the night and Levi and my slowly breaking heart.
“I had the best time!” he confirmed. “I’m so glad we know Darcy and Rich now. They’re the best.”
“Great,” I said absentmindedly. “Let’s get you ready for bed.”
We did all the necessary things—shower, pajamas, teeth, bedtime story. And when I was finally tucking him into bed, I said, “I’m glad you went out for ice cream with Darcy and Rich. I’m glad you had fun tonight.”
“It was fun,” he confirmed again. “They’re nice people.” He seemed to think about it for a minute before adding, “But I missed you. I wish you could have come.”
His sweet, truthful words repaired some of the damage Levi had done tonight. My heart beat normally again and my soul felt pieced back together.
“I wish I could have come too,” I whispered honestly. “Next time, okay?”
He nodded. “Okay, next time.”
I kissed his forehead one more time and left him to fall asleep.
That night, I dreamed about high school graduation and kissing Levi again. Only my dream went farther than reality. I didn’t seek out Logan that night. I stayed with Levi. I faced my feelings and found a way to be brave. I ignored the deep desire to leave Clark City and admitted how much I cared for him. How much I wanted to be with him. And I stayed with the man I now realized that I’ve loved for as long as I could remember.
22
Giver’s Remorse
Christmas morning, I found myself face to face with the Coles again. Darcy had called at the beginning of the week and asked what our plans were for Christmas.
It had been an uncomfortable question because we never did anything special, but I could tell she wanted us to go over there. I just wasn’t sure how much of my life I was willing to give to these people.
Okay, that wasn’t fair. The truth was, Darcy and Rich were seriously growing on me. They were reserved by nature, but incredibly giving people that only wanted the very best for Max. And that I could respect.
But after Levi’s unkind words in the school parking lot, I wasn’t in a huge hurry to see him again. And he seemed to be a packaged deal when it came to spending time with the grandparents. Any time they wanted to get together, he was always there. He might have stopped coming in the diner during my shifts, but he hadn’t exactly stepped out of my life.
In fact, he seemed more a part of it now than ever before.
But Darcy had been insistent. She’d never had a grandchild before and she’d been shopping for him ever since Thanksgiving, and couldn’t I indulge her by letting her spoil Max a little bit?
It was a hard request to say no to. It was safe to say, I had never spoiled Max before. Especially when it came to gifts.
Our Christmas traditions included going to the Christmas Eve candlelight service at the Baptist church and opening one present when we got home. Then when Max went to bed, I would spread out the rest of the presents around our tiny, coffee-table size fake tree and fill his stocking with candy, socks, and underwear that he always needed. He’d wake up around the earliest ray of light possible, presents would be over before it was even officially light outside and then I’d scramble us some eggs and bacon for breakfast. We’d spend the rest of the day playing with the few toys he got and putting our annual puzzle together.
Sometimes my mom was there, sometimes she had to work. She didn’t contribute a lot either way. But she usually got him one decent present that added to the day.
It wasn’t a lot, but it was ours. And I loved our lazy day of lounging in our pajamas and munching on Christmas candy until we felt sick.
Now Darcy wanted me to share that with her?
