Thiswas plenty hard enough.
Thedoor pushed open before I could find the courage to touch it. A guy and a girlwalked out carrying empty boxes that needed to be broken down and thrown away.They were both wearing black chef coats with red flowers on the lapel and theirhair was hidden behind bandanas, although the girl’s springy black curlsexploded out the back of hers. They checked me out but didn’t stop to chat.
Ilet out a slow breath and straightened my black chef coat with a flower on thelapel. Mine was a lily though. Not the Spanish rose of Sarita.
Normalpeople might not notice the difference, but we did.
Islipped inside the kitchen and the exterior door slammed shut behind me.Leaning back against it, I steadied my breathing and took a minute to get mybearings.
Eventhough I’d worked for Ezra for several years, I’d never seen the inside of thekitchen at Sarita before. I’d eaten here several times and gotten drinks withfriends often. But the kitchen had been off limits.
I’dmet a few of the chefs at Bianca and Sarita before now, but there was alwaysthis unspoken hostility between us. We would never admit it out loud, but wewere in fierce competition with each other. We wanted to be the best of theharem. We wanted to be best bitch.
Butaside from that, we wanted to be best in the city. And up until recently, whenBianca’s leadership failed, we had all been in steady competition for thetitle.
Theconstant rivalry made Ezra Baptiste infinitely happy and plenty rich. Becausethat meant he owned three of the best restaurants in the region. On the otherhand, the constant contention made us feral.
Once,when the city had an arugula shortage, Lilou had run out and Killian made mecall Bianca to see if they had any extra. The girl on the other end had laughedlike a hyena and hung up on me.
Therewas a rumor floating around that some of the chefs from Sarita had broken intoBianca and stolen all their immersion blenders because they thought Bianca hadbetter ones.
Basically,I was willingly walking into shark-infested waters.
Andthe Lilou lily was bleeding all over me.
“Hey,you made it!” Vera called across the kitchen that was eerily similar toLilou’s. There was a significant size difference because Lilou was a muchbigger restaurant, but the layout was the same. Good.
Thatmade this an easier battle to fight.
Verafelt like safety, so I moved toward her. “Are you kidding? This is amazing.” Imet her eyes. “You’re amazing.”
Shewaved her hand, dismissing the compliment. “I’m doing this for purely selfishreasons.” Leaning in, she dropped her voice and whispered, “Get me the hell outof here.”
Isnorted a laugh. “Is it that bad?”
Shelooked down at her hands, seeming unsure what to say. Finally, she lifted herhead and pierced me with a totally open stare. “It’s not mine. That’s theissue. It’s not mine and I feel it in my bones.”
Herwords kicked me in the chest and my body started absorbing this moment beforemy mind could catch up. At the same time, a tingle started in my toes and rosethrough my body like an electrical current.
Thiswasn’t her kitchen. This kitchen was mine. It belonged to me. Or it would soon.
Ismiled at Vera, feeling a change take root in the core of me, a hope and dreamthat I had never known existed until this moment.
Theidea of it had been there for a long time. Even the strong idea of it. But itwasn’t until this moment, with the gleaming stainless steel surrounding me andthe buzz of voices and chopping and hiss of fry pans and clank of dishes that Ifully understood what it meant to wholly, totally, completely want something sobadly I would work as hard as it took and for as long as it took until it wasmine.
Andthen I would work harder and longer and tougher and smarter to keep the dreamalive.
WhenI hadn’t said anything for long enough that I could tell Vera felt awkward, sheclapped her hands together and asked, “Ready to get to work?”
“Hell,yes.”
Shesmiled back. I didn’t know if she recognized the hunger I felt for this placeor if she didn’t know what else to do, but her smile solidified the still shakyparts of me and whispered to be brave.
“Tourfirst, don’t you think?”
Inodded and followed her as she began walking around the kitchen pointing outequipment and people. I continued to nod and smile, desperately but uselesslyclinging to names I had no chance of remembering. There were just too many ofthem and I was still overwhelmed with the unfamiliar electricity rushingthrough me.
Itook deep breaths and settled on figuring out how to get whatever I wantedwithout having to use names. “Hey, there, champ…” seemed my best option.
