“This isn’t funny anymore, Sayer!” I shouted in hisface, hitting him again. “I’m so sick and tired of you fucking with my mind.” Ihit him again and then threw the crumpled note in his face. “I left you. Fine.There! I said it. And I’m sorry I did it. Okay? Does that make you happy? I’msorry I left you. I knew it was a shitty thing to do. I knew you would bedevastated. And I did it anyway. My reasons are my own, but know this—they wereway more important than your poor me feelings of abandonment. I knew what I wasgetting into with you when we were kids. And I knew what I was getting out ofwhen I left. Both were worth it to me. Do you understand?Both.So I’m sorry that you hate me now. I’m sorry that you can’t let go of us orwhat happened or the bullshit between us. I’m sorry you’re so fuckingvindictive over the whole thing. But you need to let it go!” I was shouting andshaking with anger, but then all of a sudden it drained out of me and I couldbarely whisper my next demand. “You need to let me go.”
He stared at me, his jaw ticking and his eyes blazing.Pure, raw fury vibrated from him. My back was to the siding of the cabin beforeI knew what was happening and my hands were pinned to my sides, locked in hisrelentless, crushing grip before I could think to fight back.
“Can you let go, Caro? Have you let go of us? And allthe bullshit?” His body pressed against mine, trapping me against the house andhis chest. It was all I could do to breathe, let alone think rational thoughts orcontinue my argument. His head dipped, bringing our faces closer together. Icould feel his breath on my lips. His hands gentled their grip on my arms, butdidn’t let go. My heart hammered so hard I knew he could feel it, I knew itmirrored his, mimicked his, chased after his. “Can you let me go, Six?”
His mouth was on me before I could answer. Bruising,punishing… defeating me. I was so shocked I could only stand there and let himkiss me.
But that didn’t stop him. His lips moved over mine ina way they never had before. This wasn’t the sweet, gentle familiar Sayer I’dfallen in love as a kid. This was a man that had spent five years in prisonalone, abandoned, hardened. This was his shocking transformation on display.His muscled arms and broad chest. His darker, more serious eyes and the hard,chiseled jaw. This was the man that had gone through hell and survived.
“Come on, Caro,” he growled against my lips, graspingand shaking my arms roughly at the same time. “Fight back.”
My mouth responded before my brain could figure outwhat he meant. On a gasp, his tongue was in my mouth, coaxing me to kiss him,reminding me how explosive we were together, seducing me into a world I did notwant to go to.
But I couldn’t help it. Had I let him go five years ago?No. No, I hadn’t. And how could I when he was embedded so deep beneath my skin.
Sensation rocketed through me, sparking my tattered nervesalive in a way they hadn’t been in five years. I could feel him everywhere. Hishard, merciless body pressing against mine, his thick,muscledthighs cradling mine, his rough, calloused hands holding my arms. His lipsagainst mine, fighting, warring, worshiping.
A whimper tore out of me, as weak as my own will. Andstill I kissed him back. I let his tongue tangle with mine and my lips moveagainst his and my teeth scrape against his soft bottom lip the way I knew heloved. Still, my thighs parted so one of his could wedge between mine. Andstill my breathing faltered and my stomach flipped and my heart tore in two.
Divided in half by want and need, past and present,life and death.
His thigh pressed against my core, sending desirespiraling through me. I hadn’t let anyone touch me like this in so long. Ihadn’t wanted a man like this since Sayer. The intensity of the feeling was sosharp it hurt.
He let go of my arms to wrap around my waist and pullme closer to him, pressing me against all of him, letting me feel all of him.My hands were in his sweater, clutching it for stability. But I wasn’t pullingaway.
Not even one inch.
A car drove by on the road behind him and it was ajarring enough sound to bring us back to our senses. He set me on theground,apparently I’d been trying to climb him. Irelinquished the grip I had on his shirt. He plucked off his wayward glassesand slipped them into his pants pocket.
But that’s as far as he went. He didn’t step back. Hedidn’t remove his leg from the intimate place between my own.
His expression was cocky, full of satisfaction. “Iguess that’s you letting go?”
If I didn’t think he’d lock me in his cabin to teachme a lesson, I would have punched him in the smug face. “Move,” I growled, mythroat raw with unshed tears.
His mouth lifted in a half smile, but he raised hishands in surrender and took a step back. “It’s fine, Caroline. Don’t be soupset. It’s not you. It’s just all that bullshit between us.”
I ground my teeth together, hating him all over againfor throwing my words back in my face. I wanted him to feel like this, like Idid. I wanted him to feel this awful and lost and ruined. I wanted to wreck himthe way he had just destroyed me. “I feel bad for not giving you a warningbefore, Sayer. So here it is—your big, obvious head’s up. I’m going to leaveagain. Not today. Not tomorrow. Not any day that you can predict. But I am goingto leave again. And this time, when I go, you’ll never be able to find meagain.”
I pushed by him, not waiting for his mean reply andheaded back to the office. He didn’t try to stop me and I didn’t turn around tosee if he even cared. I had other things to worry about.Likekeeping my promise to leave him.And getting Francesca and Juliet out ofthis town and away from him and the world he belonged to forever.
Chapter Sixteen
It took all the strength I had to get up to go to workthe next morning, and I hadn’t been able to bring myself to give Sayer a wake-upcall. I knew there would be consequences, because he was a vindictive son of abitch. But they were worth it. Even Juliet saw how drained I was from having toface him every day—although she didn’t understand the reason why.
“Mommy, are you sleepy?”
I looked down at her and saw Sayer looking back at me.She had his blazing blue eyes, his expressive eyebrows,hissly smile. I hated him just a little more every time I looked at her. Theirsimilarities used to make my chest pinch with nostalgic regret and a healthyamount of guilt. Now I wanted to kick him in the shins for lending my daughter hislooks.
He didn’t deserve her.
I closed my eyes, trying to relax a bit but saw himthere too. My thoughts strayed to him pushing me against the cabin again,trapping my hands in his,pressinghis thigh betweenmine. His lips were all over me. Softer, slower… and this time they didn’tstop.
“Fine,” I half shouted. “I’m fine. Sorry, Jules. I justneed a cup of coffee.”
Francesca shot me a look from the couch. She wasworking nights the rest of the week, so she got to lounge in her pajamas untillunch. And then she got to go to work where her ex-boyfriends didn’t stalk heror bother her or try to make out with her.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” she demanded,cradling a big cup of black coffee in her hands.
