“Oh, you were actually named after this song?” Jesseasked, his dimple popping out.
“Yes. Yes, I was. My dad was a big fan. ‘SweetCaroline’is his favorite.”
“I’m named after him too,” Juliet added.
Jesse gave her his full attention. “Who? Yourgrandpa?”
“No, Meal Diamonds,” Juliet corrected him.
“Juliet.” I went on to explain to Jesse, “It’s anothersong by Neil Diamond. Not as popular. But just as good.”
He nodded. “Yeah, I know Juliet. Another of your dad’sfavorites?”
My lips lifted in something that was not quite asmile. “No.”
I didn’t like to talk about my dad. And I really didn’twant Jesse asking questions about him. But I could sense where this was going.The door had been opened. His curiosity had been piqued. Now he would want toknow if my dad was still alive. And did I ever go visit him? And what broughtme to Frisco to begin with.
I stifled a groan. People were so obnoxiouslypredictable.
But Jesse surprised me by saying, “You could have gonewith ‘Cherry.’”
I stared at him and blinked. “You really know yourNeil Diamond.”
He shrugged. “It’s either country or oldies out here.Growing up I preferred oldies.”
For some reason that made me like him even more. Ipictured a teenage Jesse, white T-shirt and dirty Levi’s, skinny arms and asix-pack of abs—because he couldn’t help it—with Neil Diamond playing on theradio in his old truck. Goose bumps pulled the hair on my arms to standing.What would my life have been like if I would have met Jesse as a kid?
Away from DC?
Away from the life?
I closed my eyes briefly and imagined myself as ateenager. My heart kicked and shame fizzled through my blood, snuffing theoxygen out of me. Jesse would have hated me as a teen.
I would have eaten him alive.
“Jesse, when can I ride thehorsies?”Juliet demanded. Her chin dripping with chocolate ice cream.
Tilting my head, I stared at my brave, courageous,disobedient child in mortified awe. “Juliet Leighton. You cannot be serious.”
Her innocent eyes widened with confusion. “I amserious, Mommy. I want to serious ride thehorsies.”
Giving Jesse a helpless look, I bit my lip to keep fromlaughing.
“Your mama said no to the bighorsies.Remember, Jules? And unfortunately, she’s the mom, so we have to do what shesays.”
Juliet’s lips thrust forward in a pout. “You don’tgotto do what she says. She’s not your mama.”
Jesse chuckled, his laugh like a warm fire on a coldnight. This man was trouble. The kind that made me envy how easy normal lifecould be. Usually I was better at keeping my guard up, at maintaining a safedistance between us. But tonight I didn’t have the willpower for it.
It took work to stay away from Jesse. At first thepain from my past had been so fresh, that I didn’t have room for Jesse in mylife. But now life had settled down and there were too many empty moments of myday to think about how lonely I felt.
And how long it had been since I got laid.
I wasn’t even sure if I remembered the mechanics ofthe whole ordeal at this point.
But it wasn’t just about my more basic needs either. Ihadn’t been intimate with a man in the same amount of time. I hadn’t been heldor touched or told how beautiful I looked in my little black dress. I hadn’tbeen the center of someone’s attention or felt the constant buzzing ofbutterflies as we peeled back the layers and got to know one another.
This reconsidering of my boundaries had more to dowith loneliness than horniness. It was easy to turn down a date when Iconvinced myself it was just about the sex. It was harder to turn down JesseHasting when I realized the components of my life that were missing were theones I needed the most.
