But Ben’s even breathing and protective touch lulled me into a cozy place that was absent of haunting husbands and sweet regrets.
“I would apologize for puking after sex,” I teased, “but I bet that happens to you a lot.”
I felt his body still, surprised by my joke. “You think you’re clever.”
I looked at him over my shoulder and through mussed strands of hair, “I know I’m clever.”
I squealed when he started tickling me. How was that a fair response! I jerked and struggled to get away from his torturing, but it was no use. I flopped to my back and he pinned me down by straddling my waist. I was laughing so hard I wasn’t making any sound.
“Stop!”I gasped, bucking against him.Stop!”I tried to pinch his nipple in retaliation, but he caught my hand and pinned it to the pillow beneath my head.
His nose ran a slow trail over mine. He stopped tickling me in favor of running his free hand over my side, across my stomach and along the curve of my breast.
“That was mean,” I panted. He was still driving me crazy, but now his touch had turned sensual and my breathing panted for a different reason.
“Mmm,” he murmured as he nipped at my bottom lip. “But so worth it.” His thigh slipped between my legs, parting them until he could slide between them.
This time, I did not puke. This time, when it was over, he pulled me into the curve of his body again and we fell asleep, tangled in each other.
And when I woke, I knew that I was with Ben and not Grady.
I had been afraid that I would forget, that my memories would collide with my reality and I would truly wound Ben by not remembering that I was in his bed.
But I came awake with Ben’s familiar scent filling my nostrils, not Grady’s. And it was Ben’s leaner, longer legs that overlapped with mine, not Grady’s.
I woke with a clear sense ofwhoI was with and what we had done.
And I was okay.
Mostly.
Ben made us a big breakfast of eggs and hash browns over toast. It turned out Pop-Tarts weren’t the only thing he knew how to make. We laughed and talked over a shared pot of coffee and deliciously tingling feelings from what had transpired last night.
When he walked me to my door, he kissed me with the knowledge of a man that knew my body intimately.
“I’ll stop by later,” he said.
“Okay.For dinner?”
“Yeah.”
With one hand on the door handle, I turned back to him and blinked in the light of day. I didn’t have the courage this morning. I couldn’t say the words again. They churned in my stomach, filling my chest with acid.
I wanted to say them. I wanted to believe that they were true… But I couldn’t. The day was too bright, the morning too raw.
“I-I-I’ll see you later,” I told him instead.
“Okay, Liz.”
I escaped to my house and shut the door behind me, locking out Ben and the feelings and sensations he brought with him.
My children attacked me with cries of “Mommy!” I brought them all into a hug and held them tightly to me.
Emma stood over us with a hopeful expression on her face, “How did it go?”
I looked up at her and blinked away tears that I refused to cry. “Good,” I admitted.“Really, really good.”She grinned, blinding me with her brilliance. “And bad,” I continued to confess.“Really, really bad.”
Her eyebrows drew down in confusion. “What happened?”
