“My dad’s a workaholic,” Ben explained without any hint of humor. “I’ve spent a large amount of my life chasing his high expectations.”
“Oh,” I repeated. This was the real reason he didn’t like working for his dad. “You don’t seem to still struggle with that?”
“A year ago, he had a pretty severe heart attack. It really shook him up, helped him realign some of his priorities. It also helped me realize how short life can be. I spent the majority of my life chasing after this impossible goal he had set for me. He was a mostly miserable man, always focused on work and building his practice. And he wanted me to be the same and to dedicate my life to the same pursuits. Then he had the heart attack. I walked into his hospital room, saw him lying on the bed, attached to machines and monitors, barely breathing on his own and I realized I didn’t want that to be me. I saw an empty shell of a man that had nothing to show for his life’s work. At least nothing that mattered. He had a son that couldn’t stand the sight of him and a wife that barely tolerated his existence. No friends, no co-workers that cared enough to show up. He was alone. I decided then that I wouldn’t spend every minute of my life pursuing things that would never care about me too, that would never love me back.”
It seemed that every time Ben spoke, I admired him even more. “How is he today?”
“He’s better,” Ben answered softly. “His health is better, and I think he realized a lot of the same things I did. We’ve been working on our relationship. It’s not perfect. And it hasn’t been easy for him to change. But, slowly… we’re getting there slowly. It’s not the lost cause I once thought it was.”
“And your mom?”
“She’s great. You would love her actually. She’s full of life, very funny, pretty much the opposite of my dad. They’re working on things too. I think they’ve lived together being miserable for so long, they’re not sure how to go forward. But they’re trying. That’s part of the reason I can learn to respect him now. I couldn’t stand the way he neglected her… ignored her. He washed-out this effervescent woman until she became a shadow at his side. I just… I couldn’t tolerate that.”
“But things are better now?” It seemed he needed to be reminded. I could see how hard it was for him to accept this change and I didn’t blame him. His dad sounded like a piece of work.
“Things are better,” he agreed. He took a deep breath and leveled me with another intense gaze.“Alright, your turn.”
“My turn for what?”
“Serious questioning.You got down to the bottom of me, now I want to hear about you.”
I fortified myself with another gulp of wine. He was right. It was only fair, even if I didn’t want to go into details. If I really wanted a friendship with Ben, I owed him this.
He started with a relatively easy question though. “I worked on a will today and it got me to thinking, are you okay in this house? Will I be getting a new neighbor any time soon?”
“Wow, starting with financials.How classy of you.”
He made a growly sound and demanded, “Answer the question, Liz. I like having you as a neighbor. I’m going to be pretty distraught if I come home one day and see a for sale sign in your yard.”
My heart jumped in my chest. “I’m sure you’ll survive.”
“Answer the question, you aggravating woman.”
I gave him a dramatic sigh, but admitted, “The house is paid for. We won’t be moving, so rest your weary head. Grady owned a construction company and used his infinite resources to build as economically as he could. He also had a trust from his dad, who died when he was in high school and I had money from my grandfather. We didn’t want to worry about a mortgage on top of business debt, so we paid off the house.”
“And his life insurance is enough for you to stay home full-time?”
I felt a little strange opening up to someone outside of my family, but I didn’t see the harm in answering his questions. “He had a large policy. So do I. With four kids, there’s no other way to do life insurance. There’s more than enough to get me through these next few years while the kids are little. I have an education though. I’d like to go back to work afterJacegoes to school.”
“That’s nice how that worked out for you,” he said softly. He must have seen my expression crumble from his words because he quickly added, “Not nice, obviously. But I’m glad for your sake you were prepared.” With a rueful twist of his lips, he added, “I’m glad you’re taken care of, for my sake.”
“Your sake?”
“I get to keep my neighbors. That’s good for me because I like them.”
“Just wait until I start throwingkeggers. And Blake and Abby shoot out your windows with their BB guns.”
He walked around the island and stood over me. I could smell his pleasant, masculine cologne and feel the heat of his body. He had completely invaded my personal space and seemed very unapologetic about it.
His thumb rubbed at my upper lip. “Wine,” he explained. “If you start throwingkeggers, I hope I’m invited. And if you ever decide to buy Blake and Abby BB guns, send them to me so I can teach them how to use them properly.”
“Grady had a brain tumor! I mean, technically tumors, plural.” The words exploded from my mouth. He was too sweet, too close. Emma’s words screamed in my head and his touch tingled against my skin. I had to do something. Ben took a quick step back and practically fell onto the nearest barstools. “That’s what killed him. Or, um, cardiac arrest actually killed him. But that’s what made him sick. He fought for two years. We went through as many treatments as we could. Surgery wasn’t an option. We tried the regular drugs, experimental drugs, chemo,radiation. We did everything we could, but it didn’t matter. He… he couldn’t…” Tears dripped down my cheeks as I tried to explain my husband’s sickness to this man.
“Liz,” he whispered.
“March,” I croaked. “He’s been gone since March.” I buried my face in my hands, unable to look at Ben anymore.
“Oh, Liz.”
