“When did you talk to my sister?”
He leaned forward, resting his elbows on the table. “Liz, Emma and I never stopped talking. We’re still good friends.”
“She never said anything.” I couldn’t believe my sister had kept this from me this whole time! I made her come over and eat boxes of chocolate with me just so I didn’t have to face this alone and this whole time she had been talking to him?
“She was probably afraid of your reaction.”
I glared at him, “I wouldn’t have reacted.”
“You can be very irrational. She probably didn’t want to risk it.”
He had a point. But I didn’t want him to know that. “She’s my sister. I will love her no matter what she chooses.”
“That’s funny,” he said with the driest expression ever.“Because I feel the exact same way abouthersister.”
The breath left my lungs and I nearly knocked over my bowl of soup. “Ben-”
“Who wants dessert?” he asked loudly. “I saw popsicles in the freezer!”
I watched my kids jump around his legs as he pulled out the leftover boxes from summer, all but Blake who sat at the table pensively watching the excitement. Ben dealt with each kid patiently, making sure they walked back to the table with their icy dessert and had everything they needed. He held out the box to Blake and then pulled back just as Blake went to grab one. Maybe it was a little cheesy, but Ben got Blake to smile and that was all I cared about.
“Liz?” he held out the box to me. “Would you like one?”
“No, thanks.”
“They look pretty good,” he pushed.“Might help cool you off.”
“I’m not hot.”
He gave me a smoldering look. “Are you sure about that?”
I reached for an orange one.
My kids had asked about Ben every single day since our “breakup.” That word… that whole idea…Breakup.It seemed so childish compared to what actually happened.
We didn’t break up. I ended things between us and set my world on fire, burning what little remained to cinders. I removed Ben from our life and watched my heart abandon me completely.
He had never been my boyfriend. Boyfriend was a word used for girls who had never been through what I had. For girls that still believed in love. For girls that still believed in happily everafters.
I knew better.
Ben had been my savior.
Ben had been breath back in my lungs. Beats back in my heart. Blood back in my veins.
Ben had been found instead of lost.Home instead of wandering.Life instead of death.
And yet there was still too much between us… too much that kept us apart. I couldn’t just move on with him. I couldn’t expect my kids to move on. Ben wasn’t the answer to all of my problems. He might have eased the burden, but he didn’t take them away.
Dinner ended and I shooed the kids upstairs for their baths. They couldn’t go without giving Ben a hug first though. The sight of three of them clinging to his legs and waist twisted in my guts. Maybe the kids didn’t need to move on before they could accept Ben.
Maybe he had been right. Our heart just accepted new love by expanding, not by being exclusive.
Blake didn’t hug him or jump all over him, but he did walk over to ask when he was coming back.
“Do you need more help with math?” Ben didn’t even glance at me to see if I approved. I would have told him not to worry about it at all, but he wouldn’t look at me. He stared straight into Blake’s eyes and let my oldest answer on his own.
“Mom’s not very good at math,” Blake confessed.
