Chapter Nineteen
Almost an entire week had gone by since I ended things with Fin. I spent spring break at home with my parents for half the week and then came back to my once again empty apartment to mope. I knew Fin left on Tuesday for his track invitational and I had practically stalked him via the campus website to see how he did and if he made it to finals, which he did. His big poker game was this week and I knew he would be going home today for Sunday lunch while I sat around all day pouting and being miserable since I stupidly asked for the day off before everything went to hell.
I kind of hated how integrated into his life I’d become in such a short time. We weren’t even together in any official capacity and yet he’d taken up so much of my time and thoughts it was like he was always meant to be there.
No, I couldn’t think like that.
He had three days to come up with the money for Declan’s down payment and even with Britte paying this month’s half of the rent I still could only spare him roughly fifty dollars.Maybe.
I was discouraged. And depressed. And disheartened. And any other d-word I could think of.
I didn’t even feel like I was still tied to the debt anymore. I knew even though he hadn’t verbally released me from the debt, that I was. But I still wanted to pay it; I still wanted to help him out, but mostly Declan. I felt responsible for his brother, even though I’d never even met him. And I felt a sense of commitment to Fin, a need to not let him face yet another huge obstacle in his life alone again.
But that wasn’t my place anymore.
Maybe it never had been.
Plus, there was this small, but insistent part of me that wanted to be able to pay off the debt just so I could see if something might still happen between us.
I glanced at my quiet phone.Nothing.
I let out a long sigh and stretched out on the worn couch from Britte’s dad. Stupid. Nothing was going to happen with Fin. If there had even been a miniscule chance of that happening before, there was no chance of it now. I’d seen to that.
Which sucked now that I realized how in love with him I was. I was so worried about Fin breaking my heart that I jumped the gun and did it for him. I rubbed at my chest, hating how much it hurt without him in my life, hating how much I wanted to just crawl back to him and curl up in his arms.
With Colton the heartache got easier, a couple weeks went by and I all but forgot about his misdeeds. With Fin, it seemed things were only going to get worse. I was so depressed at my parents’ house they hounded me constantly about money and stress. Finally, I retreated back here to the solitude of my own apartment, hoping for some reprieve, but I was just left alone with my own thoughts and my own regrets.
This sucked.
I was half tempted to join his poker game this week just to have a small piece of him in my life again. Except then I would end up seven thousand more dollars in the hole.
It was telling how depressed I was when this sounded like a good idea.
A knock at my door pulled me out of my spiraling thoughts and I pulled myself up into sitting. I glared at my door, kind of afraid of whom it might be. If it was Colton again I decided to just kick him in the nuts and slam the door in his face. He might get the message then.
Groaning I trudged over to the door and yanked it open.
With a whoosh of breath I came face to face with Fin Hunter. Once an urban legend, now possibly just a boy I was irrevocably in love with. And he was standing in my doorway staring down at me with those gorgeous chocolate eyes pinning me in place.
“Hey,” He smiled down at me. His expression was warm and relieved. His eyes were doing that twinkling thing, taking in every part of me.
I sucked in a sharp breath when I realized “every part of me” was dressed in a sloppy t-shirt that reached to my thighs, no makeup and two day old hair. Meanwhile, he was perfect looking, with his hair styled, and a day of irresistible scruff on his chin. He was dressed in gray dress pants and a white oxford, looking painfully handsome. If I hadn’t already been in love, I would have fallen immediately into it with him in this exact moment.
“Hey,” I winced, tugging at my shirt.
“You’re not ready,” he observed, his eyebrows creasing his forehead.
“Ready for what?” my voice was hoarse from crying earlier and I had to bite my lip to keep from bursting into more tears right here in front of him.
“For Sunday dinner at my Grandma’s house,” he reminded me like I hadn’t yelled at him a week ago and then walked out of his life with the intent to stay out of it.
“Fin, I don’t think that’s a good-“
“Ellie, you’re invited to my Grandma’s house for Sunday dinner, and she will be very disappointed in you when I tell her you’d rather sit at home in your…. pajamas?” he asked, his lips twitching. I nodded, they were my pajamas. I had a right to ugly pajamas! “In your pajamas, than be her guest.”
My mouth dropped open. He was so tricksy!
“I told you I couldn’t be around you anymore until the money is settled.”
