Which was stupid.
So stupid.
“Fine,” I grumbled, already regretting my decision.
“Fine, what, Ellie?” Fin asked quietly.
“Fine, I’ll help you. Fine, even though this isn’t my debt, and I don’t owe this money and I probably will never be able to come up with it in six weeks, fine I’ll see what I can do.” I crossed my arms and looked down at my shoes. I kicked my toe against the wheel of Fin’s chair. I knew I was pouting, but I couldn’t help myself. He used my own arguments against me.
“You’ll come up with the money, Ellie,” he said gently but authoritatively.
“I wouldn’t get your hopes up,” I sighed and dared to meet his eyes again.
“I don’t have hopes, I have desperation and I need that money, so youwillfind a way to get it to me.” His voice was a low growl that sent the hairs on my arms standing at attention.
“What-“
“I’m not going to tell you what I need it for, so don’t bother asking.” Suddenly he was very terse, completely and emotionally cut off. He reminded me of the guy that first came to my apartment; the guy I easily assumed was a hit man for the mob.
Cold, aggressive and dangerous.
“I’m not helping you do something illegal,” I braved my last bit of integrity.
“Too late, Ellie. You agreed to do it my way, that was the only time you will ever be given a choice from here on out. Now let’s get to work.”
He turned back to the computers, his long fingers gliding easily over the keys. With a few clicks of the mouse and pecks at the keyboard we were on the backside of an intensely complicated online poker website.
Fin was absolutely focused now, in the zone and explaining everything in a clinical, slightly annoyed way. I turned my attention to the screen, to the task at hand. I filed all of the information away, determined to do well at this, even if I didn’t understand everything that was happening in front of me.
I had to do it that way. I didn’t have a choice. Because if for even a sEcond I thought about the consequences of helping Fin with his illegal game or whatever illegal activity he needed all that money for, I would succumb to the panic attack I was just barely holding at bay.
And one panic attack in front of Fin Hunter was enough for a life time.
