I also wasn’t ready to see Derrekagain, but apparently I didn’t get to pick and choose my problems.
“Derrek Hanover is my ex-boyfriend,”I confirmed. I swooped down and picked up my crate. It was easier to talk aboutthis if I didn’t have to look at Killian or acknowledge his existencealtogether. I led him into the alley and toward my car.
“Europe?” Killian pressed, notgiving me any wiggle room.
“He didn’t drive me there. I went.Willingly.” Which made it seem like I was the flighty one. I had no idea why Iwas still covering for Derrek. Four months ago, when I’d gotten back, I’dconvinced myself I could talk about my relationship with him. I’d promised thatI wouldn’t bury everything. But the words were so difficult to spit out.
My shame was too great to admit.Especially to someone like Killian who would never let anyone intimidate orabuse him. And sure, he was a man, so the chances of that happening were minuscule.But it was more than that. It was his personality. He didn’t put up with shitfrom anybody.
We reached my Taurus after a minuteof tense silence. After enough nights of loading and unloading, I had the keysand trunk situation down to a science. Still balancing my crate packed withfood, I unlocked the trunk and unloaded mine and then one of Killian’s.
“The other one is going to have togo in the back seat.”
He followed me to the side and slidit in. He stayed quiet the entire time.
His silence became a tangible thingin the air, heavy, dangerous and confusing. It was like he was mad at me forbeing involved with Derrek. And okay, I was mad at me too, but I didn’t get itcoming from him.
I closed the door and stepped backfrom him, not sure if I was ready to get into the enclosed space of my car justyet. “Do you know Derrek?”
“Do I know Derrek Hanover?” herepeated, only where my tone had been openly curious, his had an edge. “Yeah, Iknow Derrek Hanover.”
I crossed my arms over my chest andshuffled my feet, kicking at a small rock. The night air had cooled down, and arefreshing breeze danced in the air. The clear sky allowed the half-moon toglow as brightly as it could, but it was still completely dark. A streetlighton the corner provided only a little light, casting Killian in shadow andhiding his features from me.
There wasn’t an easy response to hisbiting remarks. I knew Derrek better than anyone. Killian was right not to likehim. But this wasn’t one of those situations where I cared about the whys ofit. I wasn’t interested in gossiping about my ex.
I just wanted to forget about himcompletely.
“Well, thanks for helping me closedown.” My voice sounded small, hidden behind old fears and fresh shock. “Iappreciate everything you did tonight.”
He stared at me for a minute, onceagain refusing to acknowledge my gratitude. His hand shot out, bouncing withimpatience. “Here, I’ll drive.”
“What?”
“Give me your keys. I’ll drive youhome.”
My thoughts bumped into each otherin their rush to make sense of his offer. “That’s not necessary,” I assuredhim. “Derrek threw me off, but I can drive myself.”
“You’re shaking,” Killian pointedout. “And you look terrified. Let me drive, Vera, for my own peace of mind.”
“Your bike is here. How will you gethome?”
“I’ll take an Uber. Stop worryingabout me.”
My hackles raised, the hair liftingoff the back of my neck in response to his pushy attitude. “You’re the only onethat gets to worry? How are you the boss?”
“I’m the only one stable enough todrive. So, yeah, I get to be boss.”
“I’m fine, Killian.” And becausethat didn’t sound even the least bit convincing, I repeated myself. “I’ll befine.”
“Did he hurt you?”
The darkness made the finer edges ofhis feature blurry, but the fury in his eyes was unmistakable. As was the harshslash of his mouth and the rigid tension in his shoulders.
Still protecting my past, I tried aneasy answer. “I left him, Killian. What do you think?”
He made a frustrated sound in theback of his throat. “Not in the generic sense, Vera. Not in the way that allbad relationships end. I mean, did hehurtyou? Put his hands on you? Fucking beat you?”
Howdoes he know?Thatwas my first thought. I didn’t have scars. At least not any on the outside. Ihad been lucky in that.
