“Super risky. But Bianca would betoo, I guess.”
Vann thought about it for a minute,rubbing his fingers along his jawline. “But the food truck is risky too, Isuppose. You’re kind of gambling any way you decide.”
He was right. The food truck had nocertain future. And the Bianca job wasn’t even a sure thing. It was just anoffer based solely on Killian’s very biased opinion of me.
“That’s true.” My exuberant moodchilled into pensively serious. “It’s crazy right? Tell me it’s crazy.”
“Which thing? They’re all crazy tome.”
I smiled at my brother’s dry humor.I hoped it was humor anyway. “The Killian thing. I mean opening a restaurantwith a man I’m only just getting to know? That’s insane.”
“You keep saying words like crazyand insane and risky, but Vera, the best things in life are all of those things.You can’t reap big rewards if you don’t take big risks.”
My stomach clenched with fear andanticipation. Also with hope. “What should I do?”
Vann stuck his hand into his pocketand pulled out a quarter. Rubbing it between his thumb and forefinger, he said,“Let’s take the food truck out of the equation for just a minute. We can add itback in later. But first, let’s tackle your two offers.” He held up the coin.“Heads it’s Bianca. Tails it’s Killian. Yeah?”
I sucked in a steadying breath. Thiswas a technique he’d taught me a long time ago. “Yeah.”
Vann flipped the coin up in the air,the silver of the coin glinted against the steel ceiling of the food truck.Vann reached out to grab it, but I moved for it at the same time, suddenlyafraid of what it would reveal. Our hands bumped into each other, causing bothof us to miss.
The clinking of the quarter againstthe floor resounded through the galley like a fire engine. Or at least that washow it felt. We both looked down.
“Heads, Vera. Bianca.”
Vann raised his eyes to meet minethat had nearly bugged out of my head. “Heads,” I confirmed.
“So how do you really feel?”
That was the trick of the coin toss.The answer always revealed your true feelings. If Bianca made me feel relieved,I would have known Bianca was the right answer. If Bianca had causeddisappointment, then I would have known Killian was the right answer.
“Vera?” Vann pushed. “What’s itgoing to be?”
“Vera.”
My answer died on my tongue whenthat familiar, grating voice called my name through the window. Vann and I bothturned to look at the same time.
Derrek stood in the window lookinglike he did the first time he’d visited. Only this time it wasn’t dark yet.Dusky evening swirled in the sky turning clouds to rosy pink and grayishpurple. His features were clearer in the natural light, not exaggerated likebefore under the glare of Foodie’s spotlights, not twisted from my personalfear or agony.
I was in no danger of going back toDerrek anymore. There was nothing that could tempt me from my new life. Even ifthings with Killian went badly, they wouldn’t go violently.
They wouldn’t leave me a shell ofmyself, broken, bruised, beaten.
And I would still be better off thanwhen I was with Derrek. I’d tasted freedom and finally found healthy. I wasn’twilling to go back.
I’d settled back in my body. Mybones were mine again. My thoughts belonged only to me. My future was minealone to decide.
It was the best feeling in theentire world. Better than head chef offers and boyfriends that made me smilelike a lunatic. Better than this career I loved so very much or the dreams Iwas just beginning to chase again.
Knowing myself…being myselfwas better than anything else.
It was the very best thing.
But before I could say any of thatout loud, Vann stepped to the window and clenched his fists, hammering them onthe ledge. “Are you fucking kidding me, man? It was the wrong move to show uphere.”
“I just want to talk to her, Vann.Relax.”
Vann’s spine turned to granite. Hejabbed a finger in Derrek’s direction. “Don’t tell me to relax, asshole. I willannihilate you.”
