Maybe it was his lack of immortality that drew me to him or maybe it was something that called to me from inside him… something pure and wholesome, something that hadn’t been depraved for as long as time. Whatever it was, it called to me. He called to me.
I loved him in philosophical ways that made me a better person, that made me want to make the world a better place. I loved him more than I loved myself. I loved him more than I wanted to save myself.
“Better?” he asked gently.
I took a deep breath, “Infinitely.”
He held out his hand and I took it immediately. We walked toward the kitchen where we found a light dinner of something like hummus, olives and flatbread. It wasn’t much, but I wasn’t super hungry anyway. I was too anxious for the morning to want anything in my riotous stomach.
After our meal, we wandered outside to a balcony off the kitchen. The house was silent inside, but I knew there were people in there somewhere moving about, taking care of all of Hermes’ needs. Outside felt even more isolated.
A million stars glittered overhead and the darkened countryside stretched on forever. There were lights in the distance that I concluded were other estates, but they were spaced far enough way that I knew not even gods could see or hear us.
We settled into lounging chairs and stared up at the sky. I looked at the constellations that were so clear from this vantage and wondered which had been named after the people on this mountain. I had never been interested in astronomy before, but now I couldn’t help but be curious.
The Greek Pantheon had been revered for as long as it had existed, but now I saw it for what it was. It was not the source of life and power that ancient Greeks believed it to be. It was not the stuff of legends modern history books told or the superheroes made into books and movies.
These gods had taken their immortality and squandered it. They were no better than humans, even with their unlimited power and endless lives. No, they were worse.
They could have done incredible things throughout history. They could have maintained their patronages if they had been worthy of worship... if they had been worthy of humanity.
Compelled by something stupid and selfless, I said, “Don’t feel like you have to stay with me on the island. I won’t be able to leave, but that doesn’t mean you can’t. You could go home or to college or… whatever.”
He rolled over so that he faced me, propping his cheek on his bent elbow. “If I go with you and stay with you, Red, it’s because that’s where I want to be. It’s not because I feel like I have to babysit you.”
I shifted nervously. “We didn’t know all of that before, Ryder. We didn’t know that you’re the only person that doesn’t feel my effects or can do anything about me. If I become a problem… I just don’t want your whole life to be wrapped around the potential that I might turn evil.”
Ryder sat up so suddenly I jumped back. He moved to the edge of his lounger and leaned over me. I felt his intensity without needing to look at him.
“When I stay with you, Ivy, it won’t be because I’m waiting around to kill you just in case you flip a switch and become evil. I don’t believe half of what was said. I don’t believe that I was born just to keep you in check or that the universe is waiting for you to become the evil overlord that Nix wants you to be. I was born and you were born and when we met, it wasn’t the Fates pushing us together, it was beautiful chance. Now that we know each other and what the other is capable of, we’re not enemies… we’re partners. The one thing that I got out of that whole speech was that I can’t exist without you and you can’t without me. That is what I believe. I’m not the same man without you. I don’t want the same things or care about the same things. I need you in my life not because of some ancient destiny Zeus put on me, but because I can’t breathe without you near me. I love you, Ivy. That’s never going to change.”
Hot tears pricked at my eyes, but I managed to hold them back. “I love you, too.”
“If you want me to go, I will. I don’t have to stay with you on the island. But, Ivy, if you want me to stay, then let me. Don’t leave me again or make me leave you. Let’s live the rest of this life together.”
“What if you get tired of me,” I whispered.
“That’s not going to happen, Red.” His lips curled into a playful smile. “After you left, I spent every day thinking about you, wishing you would come back to get me. I can’t tell you how pathetic I felt when I realized that wasn’t going to happen. Now, I know better than to let you go. I’m not going to get tired of you. I’m going to be thankful for every single day I get to spend with you.”
“I’m only eighteen, Ryder! We’re so young!” Even though I felt ancient. “I just don’t want you to throw away your whole life on me.”
He leaned closer until his lips hovered above me. With aching tenderness, he brushed his mouth over mine. “Stop trying to convince me to leave, Red. I know things will never be perfect and I don’t want them to be. We’ll fight, sure. Of course we will. We’re in love, Ivy. Nobody has the power to hurt me like you do. But that doesn’t mean we’ll always fight. And when we do… well, we can make up.” He waggled his eyebrows at me and I couldn’t help but laugh. “But it doesn’t matter, because I’d rather take a lifetime of fighting with you than living without you. I’ve done that. I never want to live like that again.”
My heart raced in my chest. How had I gotten this incredible man to fall in love with me?
I had lived a lifetime of attracting the worst kind of men and yet somehow I’d also found Ryder. I had never felt this loved before. I had never loved like this before. And he was right. I had lived a year without this, without knowing how much he loved me, without seeing it on his face or feeling it in his touch.
I never wanted to go back to that place. I never wanted to live without him again.
“We’re not going to fight all of the time,” he laughed at my silence, misreading it for something else. “You make me a better person. And I want to do the same for you. We’re young, but we have the rest of our lives to figure this out. It won’t be easy, it won’t always be fun, but it will be worth it. You’re worth it.”
“What about your dad and uncle?”
He pressed another kiss to my forehead. “They can visit, can’t they?” When I frowned, he read my thoughts and the fear I had for his family, and said, “Or I can visit them. I’m not saying I won’t ever go back to the States, but my life is with you now. I gave it the second I fell in love with you. That’s not going to change.”
I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him on top of me. His laughing kiss met my mouth and I dissolved into blissful lust. We wiggled around on the narrow lounger until we both fit snuggly together. Our legs tangled, our arms clung to each other and our lips met over and over again in frantic, beautiful kisses.
We stayed there for hours. We stayed there until the sky lightened and erased the constellations overhead and until the sun peeked over the horizon in finger strokes of pink and orange, purple and deep blue. We stayed there whispering promises and apologies and making plans for a future that, for the first time in my life, seemed possible.
