“Why didn’t you strip the Nesoi of their powers?” A million thoughts ran through my head. There were too many to catch. I had endless questions.
“I couldn’t…” Smith took a breath and held my gaze. His powerful chocolate eyes flashed with streaks of light and I realized that it would cost him something to explain this. He couldn’t give me this answer without admitting his own weakness. “I couldn’t get close enough to them without falling under their spell. The only being able to withstand the Nesoi completely is the Orpheus. I have a higher tolerance than others, like my brothers, but if you truly wanted to control me, all you need to do is tap into your power completely. The older you get, the stronger that power becomes.”
Raw and strained, Hermes asked, “Ivy, do you understand the destruction Nix could wield if you ever… if he ever…?”
“Yes,” I whispered. I did understand. I could even see it in my mind’s eye. Energy bubbled beneath my skin and lit up my bones. I felt the thrumming of ancient power react to Smith’s words like a prophetic epiphany. I saw the world on fire. I saw men at my feet and death blanketing every land… every home. I saw Nix on his throne, patrons worshipping his robes and kissing his fingers. But I sat at his right hand, responsible for it all. “And Ryder can’t… harness my power?”
Smith shook his head, “He can only stop it.”
Meaning kill me. He would be the only one able to fight through the obsession to murder me.
Ryder turned me into his body and wrapped his arms around me. He squeezed me to his chest and buried his face in my hair. My heart beat frantically in my chest, but his touch helped ease the panic and dread I felt welling up inside me.
“Don’t let me go,” I pleaded with him.
“Never,” he swore. “I’ll never let that happen, Red. Never.”
“Because you’ll kill me first?” My dry words were meant to be funny, but the truth was too strong to make them anything but terrifying.
“Because I’ll love you first.” His lips pressed against my ear. “Because I’ll never stop loving you.”
I looked at Smith over Ryder’s shoulder, “What does that mean for Honor?”
His gaze went cold again, all warmth left him and he said, “If Ryder should fail…”
“You had a child to control me?” My mind stopped spinning with questions and flashed red with anger. “You had a child with my mother so that there would be someone able to kill me if need be?”
He jerked his chin once, unapologetically. “By the time I realized who Max was and what your mother had done, it was too late. Max was not a bad guy, but he was primordial, for god’s sake. His power is the most ancient of all! When I caught up to Ava, Max was dead and Nix owned you. We had no reason to believe that Orpheus lived. I knew the Fates were working with Nix. I did what I could to save the world. I won’t feel bad for that.”
“And you still think I could destroy everything? You think I would honestly enslave humanity?”
He took an aggressive step forward. “Look at the women Nix employs. Look at the kind of young girls he produces. Look at your mother. I had no evidence that someone worthy could live through Nix’s… Nix’s… methods.”
My lungs deflated, all of the air whooshed from inside of me and I felt strangled and choking. Thinking back on my childhood, on the sick things I had seen, the evil that existed around me… Could I blame Smith? Or my mother?
“What if he would have gotten to her?” I threw my arm in Honor’s direction. She had pulled her knees to her chest and watched us with concerned anguish. “What if he would have taken her from you? Then there would be two of us!”
“No,” Smith denied immediately. “I would never have let that happen. And Ava took the same oath. We would have done whatever it took to keep Honor with us, out of Nix’s clutches.”
There was a large part of me that resented him for saying that. As thankful as I was that Honor had a different life than me, that she had been protected and sheltered from the very real monsters I lived with daily, I couldn’t help but feel sorry for myself. Why hadn’t anyone taken an oath like that for me? Why had I been thrown to the wolves?
Seeming to read my mind, Smith exhaled and said, “It was too late for you, Ivy. As much as it pains me to say, Nix has watched you from the moment you were born. You were always his. I think he could sense the difference in you, even before the Fates got involved. There’s more that you don’t understand. Nix has never been interested in your sister like he has been with you. Honor might rival you with power, but she will never be you. Part of her is her mother, yes, but the other part is me. My powers work in opposition of Ava’s. While she will be incredible one day, she will never have that… twist of obsession that you do. Your father, Pontus, was a sea god. His power is the perfect complement to the Siren inside of you. You never had a choice.”
My self-pity kicked me in the chest, but I refused to give into it. I didn’t have a choice of who I was, but I had a choice now.
Ryder’s arms tightened around me, but I pulled back. I didn’t need to be weak now. I didn’t need to wallow or feel sorry for myself. I needed to get my shit together and murder the son of a bitch that wanted to use my power for the worst kind of evil.
I needed to figure out a way to kill Nix.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Ancient power hummed in my veins while purpose settled in my spirit. The puzzle of my life was almost put together. I had been searching for pieces for as long as I could remember.
I never understood why Nix had been so obsessed with me or what he planned to do with me. Now I knew. I had never understood my mother’s neglect or the cruel way she treated me. She had revealed most of her reasoning a year ago, but now I understood it all. I had never understood why Smith was so determined to help me or why he was willing to risk so much. Now I knew.
Most of all, I had never understood my power and what I was capable of besides making men mindless. But now I knew.
I controlled them. I forced them to worship me or who I chose for them. I had the blood of a primordial sea god pumping through my body and beating in my chest. I had the lethal charm of a powerful Siren. I was unstoppable.
