I did what was best forhim!
“Kenna, I have to go,” I croaked. The tears had started falling again and I knew this time I couldn’t stop them.
“You’re leavingagain?” She glanced back at the stage where Ryder was just starting another song. “Shouldn’t you at least stick around and try to talk to him?”
“I don’t think he wants to hear anything I have to say.”
“You’re wrong,” she told me and the empathy had returned to her voice. “Don’t leave him again, Ivy. Don’t run.”
“I’ll find him later,” I lied. “I’m in town now. I’m back.” More lies. “This is just a really bad time for him. I should have realized that before I showed up unannounced.”
She nodded slowly, not looking like she believed me at all.
“Bye,” I called to her as I started moving toward the door again. “I’ll talk to you later!”
I didn’t wait for her reply; I shoved through the doors to the outside and gasped in fresh air. I stumbled to the side of the building and rested a minute to catch my breath. I dropped my hands to my knees and closed my eyes. I felt a panic attack building inside of me, but I didn’t have time for that now.
I had to get out of here.
I had to-
The doors slammed open again and his presence crashed into me, sinking into my skin, tuning every one of my senses and thoughts and feelings into him.
“You’re leaving again?” he demanded in that rough voice.
I slowly pulled myself into standing but kept my back against the wall. I forced myself to look at him, to face him head on.
I could smell his coconut oil shampoo and I had to stomp on the urge to cry.
In the low light of the day, he was even more beautiful. His silver eyes flashed with emotion so strong I could taste the bitter residue on my tongue. His guitar was slung around his back and his fists balled at his sides.
He was furious.
And I was a mess.
I didn’t know what to say to him. I couldn’t bring myself to confirm his accusation or lie to him. I just wanted to disappear.
“You’ve got a lot of balls just showing up again,” he growled. “You could have warned me you would be here or that you were coming back or hell, Ivy, you could have warned me that you were still alive. Do you know-” His voice broke and he ran his hands over his face while he tried to compose himself. “Do you know what I’ve imagined happened to you? Do you know what it’s been like not knowing?”
I shook my head and licked my dry lips. “Ryder, I’m not really back…”
“Of course you’re not,” he snapped. “It’s probably better that you go anyway.”
I winced, unable to hide my heartbreak. Regret flashed across his face, but he didn’t apologize.
“Isn’t that what you do?” he gritted out, apparently not caring that he was obliterating whole pieces of me at a time. “You leave when things get tough? You run just when people need you the most?”
“Ryder, I left because I wanted to protect you-”
He cut me off, “I’m not talking about myself.”
“Then what are you talking about?”
“Your friends, Ivy. Exie and Sloane. They’re… they’re in trouble and they needed you and you left them.”
“They’re in trouble?”
He eyed me carefully, taking in the whole of me. His eyes swept over me from head to toe and his lips pressed into a frown. When he spoke again, I felt his dismissal. “Find out for yourself. I have to get back in there.”
