Hurt.
Images of drowned sailors flashed in my head first. Then a world where blood coated the ground and men lay at my feet.
I saw thousands… hundreds of thousands… millions of souls at my disposal.
The energy perked up at the images, flexing its supremacy inside me. I saw a world waiting to be taken. I saw even Nix on his knees before me.
There was nothing I could not do.
There was no one I could not control.
And those that had the will to oppose me? Easily disposed of.
I could have all of this. Not even the Fates could tame me.
The words to end this creature stuck in my throat. I held his jaw in my hand, the harsh bristle of his beard scratching against my palm. I felt his pulse beneath my fingertips, the slow beat of his overly large heart. Water poured from his mouth and cascaded over my wrist and splashed at my ruined dress.
I fought the heady feeling with everything that was still moral and human inside of me. This was what Nix wanted. This was the power the Fates sought to control. This was the force that Olympus trembled from.
If I gave into it just once, it would consume me.
It would own me.
All Nix had to do… or the Fates… or anyone, was draw it out one time. I would be a slave to the power then. I would never be able to turn it off. I would become greedy and bloodthirsty with the need to control and enslave.
I wouldn’t stand a chance.
I barely stood a chance now.
When I sang to the gigante, I used every ounce of willpower I had left. Instead of singing him to his death or off a cliff or any other horrid picture that danced gleefully in my head, I told him to leave.
“Leave,” the hardest word I had ever uttered.
He stood immediately and pushed his way through the crowd.
I watched his swaying, drowning body bowl through the battle and gradually pulled back my power. His lungs dried and the water left him, but not the command. I didn’t have the authority to pull that back.
Once the command was uttered, the damage was done.
Sorrow weighed me down as I realized just how destructive I was. I had glimpses before, but never had I seen a clearer picture of how evil I could be.
When I turned my back on his retreating form, I wasn’t surprised to find Nix waiting for me. Gigantes flanked him, fighting off anything that tried to get too close to him.
I looked up into his dark eyes and felt my heart shatter into a thousand pieces. This was what he wanted from me. This was what he wanted to pull out of me and use.
I would rather die first.
I would do anything to die first.
Nix leaned in so that his lips brushed the shell of my ear. His hand cupped my jaw and caressed my cheek. The pose was not all that different from what I had just shared with the gigante, but this time the tables were reversed. Although the effect was the same.
“You’re exquisite,” he murmured.
I didn’t respond to him. Across the distance, I saw Ryder fighting to get to me. His sword moved with superhuman speed as he felled anything that stood between us.
Sweat dripped down his temples and mingled with the blood of his enemies. My broken heart stuttered in my chest, responding to the proof of his relentless fortitude.
He would do everything he could to protect me. He had always been like that, even before he was possessed with this super strength.
